200 Men Said…. Value of a Black Woman Pt1

       This blog entry is to set the record straight, ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!! So, while clowning on twitter ( @_2Deep_) a friend on mine hit me up and wanted me to ask my 200 men a question that has been burning up inside of her. Now, what kind of friend would I be to deny her of a stage?

        She mentioned to me that while out and about at clubs she noticed that several black men were clinging heavily to white women, or women of other races in general, but you never really see them clinging to us black women in the same fashion. THESE ARE HER WORDS AND SENTIMENTS, DO NOT… I REPEAT, DO NOT SHOOT THE MESSENGER!!! So she wanted to know why was this the case. Why are, in her opinion, black men more affectionate and willing to date those who are outside of their race and not do the same for those who resemble themselves? She said it made her feel as if black men did not value black women the way that women of other races were valued. On “some” points I agreed with her. I too think that there are times when black men do not value us as much as they should, but I never looked at it as they value us less than other races. I say this because, I believe that black women are to be valued differently, therefore to compare out value to another race of women is invalid. I say this because majority of the time, the way that men, in general, value other races…a black woman would see as belittling, or would see as weak…which in return causes relationship issues….so this discussion is somewhat invalid. I think this is an in-house problem that needs to be corrected. But, since that was not the issue that was brought to the table, I had to reach out to my guys and ask them to directly answer her question. And let me tell you… the uproar from my guys that came back was a sight to see….but good to see it in ink.

        So I stuck my neck out on the chopping block, because you just know that when you generalize a question or say that you are asking for a friend that automatically makes people think you are asking for yourself…lol. Well, on this one, I really am asking for someone else, but I am learning from the responses as well.  Now, my 200 Men were asked:

Many black women don’t feel as if black men value them. As a black man, do you value black women over other races? Would you date/have you dated outside of your race? Why? Send me a note/message for longer answers.

And they answered with:

• WWW . (dirty) . com: never dated out of my race and never will–i love a chocolate woman…[they’re] so pink inside….. [2Deep: I have absolutely no clue what this means or if this is even a compliment, but at least he loves his black women…lol]
• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**:I would have to say that I definitely value black women over any and every other race. I have dated outside my race before but I could not say that I have ever considered marrying and spending my life with anything but a black woman. I am amazed at the strength and loyalty of a good black woman once they believe they have a man they can pour into completely.
• Dezi: I love my sisters and i never thought about going outside of my race. And if i do [it’s] my choice as it is the next black man’s or woman’s. Not about race it’s about being happy.
• ”DUKE” BANNER: i would never disrespect my queen. never dated outside my race but im not [racist]
• *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: I would never de-valued (lol) a black woman, that’s basically saying i don’t have respect [for] all the strong black women in my family.  I would never put another race over the other.  I haven’t dated outside my race but I’m not ruling that out either.  If i happen to meet someone of different race I’m okay with that.
• !: I value black women over other races but since i have native and european blood way down the lines near the end of slavery I’m open to dating any race. It’s about the person and not color to me…my preference though is a black woman first.
• http://www.twitter. com/kingdomgate_ent: It’s definitely not a race issue its a faith issue. I would absolutely date outside my race the heart doesn’t have color. I have dated other races before.
• MR. LOVING: I feel I do & I haven’t had the chance to date outside my race. I wouldn’t mind though.
• Prestige “The One And Only”: I personally believe there is no substitute for a good black woman. If what I’m looking for is found outside my race so be it, but that’s not where I’m looking. As to the value of a blk wmn, I can only see myself valuing her as much as she does herself.
• PIECE OF WORK!! $$PET$ PET$ PET$$$: i do… i love my black women… yeah i would, but depends. why bc i am attracted to physical beauty before inner beauty. but they must have both..[2Deep: Well, ladies at least he is honest. It’s booty before beauty with him..lol]
• KEN: I LOVE BLACK WOMEN..but yall…..lol but seriously black woman [are the] most powerful women in [the] world; ask Oprah and Michelle. black women are beautiful women, just hard 2 get alone wit.so yes, [i value] black woman value over other races…
• Kip S: I do value black women. All of the girls that I’ve dated have been black except 2 of latin origin. I don’t see a problem dating outside of yourself as long as you know who you are and where you come from
• Jamarcus V: i love everything about tha black woman and I don’t do tha outside of tha race thing,mixed is one thing but a whole different race i cant do it
• THE TOTAL PACKAGE: definitely value blk women more cause my moms a blk women 1st and foremost and cuz without blk women life would not exist on this planet!!
• Kycajrome L: I prefer my sistas first over any other ….but yes i have dated outside us, why….I was asked….and decided to try it….
• THIS GUY: WELL ME I LOVE MY SISTERS NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE NO REPLACEMENT IN THE WORLD THERE THE ONLY ONES FOR ME AND NO OTHER RACE CAN REPLACE MY NATURAL NEED FOR BLACK WOMEN. SO I ONLY DEAL WITH BLACK WOMEN. PEOPLE CAN SAY LOOKS DONT COUNT BUT THEY DO
• Henry C: yes i love my black women.
• DEVON B: i love black women
• Lateef25: i love blk women i have only other race i have dated was spanish women
• MYLES C AKA !! Mr.Grown-N-Sexxxi !!: EVERYONE IS TREATED EQUAL TO ME. YES I HAVE DATED OUTSIDE MY RACE MAYBE TWICE, BECAUSE SOME BLACK MEN FEEL THAT A BLACK FEMALE WONT DO A WHITE WOMAN WOULD, BUT IT AINT ALL BOUT THAT

My ALL TIME FAVORITE RESPONSE CAME FROM……….:

• Black Kryptonite aka the KID: black men value black women who value themselves. not the ones who want to rock the labels but not work to get it for themselves. Or women who are looking for captain save her

        PREACH, Black Kryptonite!!! So, I think he flat-out told us that we have to VALUE OURSELVES in order to be valued in return. So, did he just hand the responsibility of placing a value to our worth back into our hands? Well I be damned, I think he did! lmao! So, if we feel that we are not being valued by our men, it is then our place to make sure that we have worth, know it, and place our worth on proper display. I think that it is safe to say that you will NEVER find a Benz dealership in the middle of the hood, so why should you place your values amongst actions that do not match what it is that you think you are worth.  I’m coining the phrase, actions speak louder than worth. How you act will dictate your judgement of your worth and guys can pick up on that. So, correct yourself first.

        Another interesting comment that came from this question came from James F. The discussion turned into a bit of a conversation so check it out:

• James F: yes i value black women i come from a black woman i can never diss or turn my back on them…its ironic you say that cause i feel black men kinda feel the same why about black women but any i digress…but yes i will date outside my race I don’t discriminate..everybody should date whoever they wanna date
• Me: So, you brought up an interesting point. You say that black men feel the same way? How so? Can you explain what some black women do that makes some black men feel as if we don’t value them?
• James F:  i mean Some black women, not all, don’t hesitate to throw black men under the bus…some black women are just black men bashers lets just keep it real…if you’re doing that why would black men feel valued when the first out your mouth is something negative?? it is what it is…its too much of disconnect between black men and women…and it shouldn’t be like that

         So, how do you propose BOTH sides work on fixing this problem? Because SOME of the negativity is based on experience. For instance, I just had this complete stranger (black male) post on my page ” do you skeet or spit when you have sex”. WHAT KIND OF BS is that? I don’t know him. What I shouldnt do is take his stupidity out on the next, but you must understand why I would be guarded, right? So, I propose the question…..how should a black woman place value in a black man? Hmmm… we could go on for hours. Pretty much like my next comment response.

So, in the middle of my responses I received this:

• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: RESPECT is lost amongst us all. Everyone wants the ability to do whatever they want without recourse. We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change. Yes change is what got us here from when things had more value and respect back in the day. Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people. All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards. Bringing it back to relevance though when RESPECT was lost during this all change is good so will everything else be lost ie honesty, loyalty, communication, trust…..
• Me:I have to be honest…. I am sooooo lost with your response. I get the “respect is lost” part. But can you explain it to me again, but this time slow and act like I’m dumb.
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**: Where are you lost because i can’t begin to correlate until you tell me which point you need clarity. I will do this to help what i think you maybe lost.”We take things and persons for granted with silly talk about this is a new year and a time for change”… What i am saying here is people want the ability to do whatever they desire as they see fit with other people belongings or how they treat or act towards the other person.”Date outside my race i have before i found my spiritual path and we are not to date a certain kind of people”…. Here i am talking about dating outside my race but came to realize that is wrong and only disrespectful to the creator not the person. Its written in the scriptures who we are to date/marry.”All this leads to a root of a problem that we are trying to avoid by dealing with the surface on our own regards”….I am saying here that we that we try to deal with these situation on our own desires/regards or what we see fit to make it work. You don’t have to be spiritual or preacher to see how we are to interact with each other as written. We are so far from the truth that we make our own to satisfy our realities.
• Me: Whooooooooooooooooa Nelly! The Bible doesn’t mention race. But you must be of like and sound mind; equally yoked. A person of aother race ca be equally yoked with you. So how did you figure it was wrong to the creator to date a person of another race?
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**:Yes it did because he you know your history of where all races came from during the biblical days…you would know of the races it were speaking of because during the bible days race were never used but location where people lived…..Your pastor will not tell you this and that is why you must read the bible and learned its history. Most people just read the bible and think that is it and some don’t read it just recite what was said to them so the knowledge of it is mixed up. YES the bible talks about race….Go find me in the bible where it doesn’t talk about you are not to marry from this place but this place or not to marry from this place and when you DO come across it…. Find out the RACE of people there and there is your RACE…. I am in the dirt of the book your on the surface but you can dig too
• Me: But location and the color of one’s skin is two TOTALLY different things. There are people of all skin hughes who are born in america….So…. amI to see who is a child of Abraham before I accept his proposal in marriage? I understand what you mean, but that does not relate to skin tone. Again, it relates to the belief systems and being equally yoked with persons from different sects. Thee could be BLACK people who are not equally yoked with you who you are not supposed to marry.
• Tony Raymond **Thank Kamelyun**:  Your just blurring the lines because you fear of what is being said…I said RACE not skin color….Race in america is skin color but Race outside of here is Location. Native Americans are of different hues but there are located to this country….Asians which is a race and located to their location….Europeans, Alaskian, Somoans, African, and the so on….You want to limit to the equally yoke because you want to date outside of said race….I will do this for you…Provide you scriptures and you tell me where does it rely to unequally yoking….Your trying understand but you just have one part because here in America its Politically correct to use that part but the rest is not and many do not want to create ripples in the waves. I will stand by my creator words and do not fear of people issues due to fear of another’s opinion or comment. Why did Abraham send his servant to another place to find a wife for Issac? Race of people where he was at were not for his son to marry….hmmmmm
• Me:  First off….DONT YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I AM “AFRAID” TO DO….it is insulting & you don’t know me. I’ve never dated out of my race, not that it matters, so to assume somewhat mutes your point.When people cannot stick directly to facts, they often time assume and pass judgement on those who think in opposition….that very move does not make your argument strong. Just stick to the facts.It is the respectful thing to dispute what I say without passing judgement on me for why I think that way. Or do they teach you that in the Bible too?  Can you show me the verse on “thou shalt pass judgement on the person because they disagree with you.”? (This is merely rhetorical, please do not respond)Also,I understood and know the meaning of  RACE. Race is derived from origin and or location….that is one of the definitions of race. Therefore, a white person who is born in Africa has the race of African, and should they move to America, they too will be classified as African-American. Sounds weird, but it is true. Therefore, a person of a different color skin can be classified as being of the same RACE as you. On the flip side, an African-American would be of a different RACE than an African based purely on the definition of RACE, therefore making an African unequally yoked from an African-American. Which leads me back to my original question (part of which is now answered): I now know that you would not date outside of your RACE, but would you date outside of your own darker colored skin category and date a person who would stereotypically be classified as white? As I am NIGERIAN….I am not just stuck to the confines of American ideologies (Again…thou shalt not judge).  Again… my questions are now rhetorical… PLEASE DO NOT REPLY any further.So, I will not pass judgement on you. But I will tell you that the word of God is not abrasive, nor is it rude. We as a people cannot pass judgement or assume and then hide behind the Word. I respect your opinion, although I disagree with its use, but I will never past judgement on you for thinking the way that you do. THAT is what the Word has taught me. Maybe I am reading a different book. Therefore, I will thank you for your comments and ask that you respond no further. Again, your words are greatly appreciated. I pray that you have a blessed day and have an even better 2011. God bless!

        Yes, child…. the conversation went there! I know I am not your typical Bible slinging Christian, but I too believe in the Word, and for some reason it just irks me when people use it to divide. There is always a time and a place for the word and it is only applicable at ALL TIMES when it is used correctly. End of story. I have had two of my HUGEST crushes on white guys. One was on …I think his name was Brian, in my high school Theatre group. Still to this day I have a picture of me sitting on the Shakespeare Theatre Festival steps behind him running my fingers through his hair. The other guy was Matthew and he went to my junior high school in Spokane, Washington. I loved even his glasses. There was something about his spirit that just made me like him. So, you can’t tell me that I can’t love who I choose to love because they are not from the same location as me. Especially when I see God in them. My god-family looks like a United Nations’ meeting; from my black siblings to their asian, white, and Pakistani (sp) spouses and some of the most beautiful children that you have ever laid eyes on…..I beg to differ that this was wrong. I somewhat believe that this is what God intended. But that’s just my opinion.

        So, in closing, I think that the fellas have proven their point…. at least the 200 that I have come in contact with. They all believe that they value the black woman over any other race. But I do not think that it matters. Love is love, and if for some reason you see a white girl with one of our black brothers, wish him well. There was a time when a black man would have been hanged for expressing his love to a person with whom he connected with. That man was not destined for you. Why get your bloomers in a bunch for someone who isn’t checking for you because he wasnt put on this earth for you? Get out of their business and start focusing on your own. You could very well be missing the guy who thinks that YOU are beautiful and it has nothing to do with race. It has nothing to do with him staying with his own kind which rings to the rhythm of a KKK meeting. But it will have everything to do with him loving YOU. Be happy with that. Killing the hopes of someone else’s love is not the most productive thing that you can do. But having faith that a different kind of love, a love between a black and a white, can exist in its purest form should lend hope that love can survive under simpler circumstances. That is my opinion on that!

 Check out what the white & mixed guys had to say about the same topic. Read my other post: 200 Men Said….Value of a Black Woman Pt2 (White Men Speak) <~Click Here to Read

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*

200 Men Said…. College Smollege

 

Statistics would have you believing that there are no men in college, and in some cases and ethnic groups you couldn’t be closer to the truth….. but why is that? Are we as a society teaching our guys the value of an education? I seldom wonder who will I marry if most guys don’t think that a college education is as important as “getting that paper”. I mean, they tell me that I should look for someone to be my equal, and if I went to school …is it too much to ask that my future husband went to school as well? I know that this shouldn’t be the be all and end all of the world, but I think that it is a valid question.

While in school, I noticed which majors guys were signing up for. Yes, you have your random music majors, theatre majors, and art majors… but all in all you were heavily saturated with testosterone in the Engineering, Science, and Law fields. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing sexier than a hot architect who can bring the house down and then build it back up… but how did THESE guys get the message about school and so many others did not? Why did these guys feel it was good to have a degree over street credit and fast money? Why do I find these guys so freaking attractive? *shakes away thoughts* Or maybe it was a life situation that made it impossible. maybe the dread of having Salle Mae making him her bitch made him not go; understandably so. But all of this speculation is pointless unless I go directly to the source.

I have no prior knowledge of what each of these men do for a living, nor their education. I also didnt know who would get the answers back in time for my personal deadline to write this blog. Therefore, I think that the responses will be very organic, right? So, I wanted to know what the every day guy thought about college, so I asked my 200 Men:

I have seen the benefits of having a higher education and wouldn’t trade it for the world. How have/would you benefit from having a college education? Is it important to you? 

And the answers that made it in by my deadline said: 

• Prestige “The One And Only”: It’s very important which is why, while I’ve been in the military, I’m going to school.
• bree B: Yes,i do feel a higher education is important in todays society.i’ve benefited my bein able to work in a law firm for 10yrs.
• Lateef25: yes but college isnt made for everyone
• Kip S: HIGHER EDUCATION IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!…whether its a personal advantage or professional.
• Tori A: i have a law degree and im utilizing it to the best of my ability. however, i worked in the construction field for a # of yrs and it required no degree and i was promoted over time and gained a hefty salary, a lot more than more than many educated ppl
• Boss: Well I would have love to have one
• ”DUKE” BANNER: yes it is a college education give you of a sucessful life than someone with out it
• Code Name Bigsexy:anything you learn makes you a better you in school or any other place in life
•  Boots: Not only does it prepare you for obtaining a career but it also helps you learn life lessons. How to be completely responsible for yourself w/out your parents help. You learn how to be an adult.
• Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: yes it is imortant ..i believe we r all students 4 life!

• Black Kryptonite aka the KID: Having a college education has opened so many doors for me as well as given me resourcefulness. So many black youth squander the reality of a degree/education as wastefulness. It is what you make it
• Aries Brotha: education is important to me, and I do plan on going back to ITT Tech to finish what I started. I’ve benefited personally by being exposed to people that are further along than me in the field and reaped a plethora of knowledge and connections.
•  Johann J: In this economy every little bit helps. Having a college education increases overall wage benefits and helps job stability.
•  H.O. R: well most of my friends have been to collage and we talk about all the time but its really no different than anyone else. so its not that important but i would love to be able to get mine but I’m good
•  !: I really havent benefited from a higher education. Its just another highschool diploma unless you have a specialized field like medice or law.. 80% of graduates never work in their field of study…Just looks better on resume than some with a h.s. diploma.
• John G: Yes my college education has opened doors for me in all ways. Just the name of the school offers a significant prestige to my qualifications.
•  *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well i was fortunate to have a higher education also, and it is very important to me. I’m about to go back to College and pick couple of more degrees, maybe go to law school if i finally decided to pursue law.
• PIECE OF WORK!! $$PET$ PET$ PET$$$: yes it is thats why i am working on it
• Randall: yes it is very important to me i urge people everyday to make they get one bc i have one plus i have my skills that helps me out to make a great living if u dont have a skill all the degrees in the world means nothing when u cant find a job

• DA FLY GUY: WELL MAMI I HAV AN ASS DEGREE N COMMUNICATIONS N WIT DA WAY IT IS NOW THEY LOOKN AT IT LIKE A DAM HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA,SO MY PLANS IS 2 GO BACK 4 2 MORE YEARS SUMTIME ANOTHA YA DIG? I KNO PPL WIT OUT DEGREE’S THATS MAKEN BIG MONEY RITE NOW.

• P Reddz: HIGHER EDUCATION IS THE KEY!! I WISH I WOULD HAVE DONE IT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
• MR. LOVING: Working in my field & yes it’s important!

• Hit me up on facebook-UB: Having a college education is important bacause what ever you major in you will pick up the basic knowledge and skills you need to go into the work force. But in order to get that degree you have to work hard to succeed.

My most interesting comment came from :

• James F:  having a college education is a good thing..but its not important to me..all college does or school in general is teach you how to be a good employee..thats all school is they give you information and they want you to remember it…you can search for knowledge and truth on your own cause they dont tell the truth in school especially about black history

 I have to agree with him on some points and disagree with him on the other. I agree that you should be able to seek knowledge and truth on your own. But there are truths that you can’t have access to unless you have the inside track. DO you know that certain schools hold the rights to out of print books? Also, there was a ton of stuff I didn’t even KNOW I was missing until I went to school and I began to wonder why they didn’t teach us this in high school. So yes, but no. Having been through school I had my mind opened and my own thoughts challenged to points of rewriting my personal constitution and I am thankful for that. Now that I have graduated, I can go out into the world and continue to search for the missing links that were brought to my attention.  I also agree yet disagree with the concept that high education makes you a good employee. No, higher education gives you the tools you need to be whatever you so choose to become. So if you gain information and choose to be an employee…then that is on you, not the school. I went to school and I manage to be both an employee and an entrepreneur…..I CHOSE that for myself, not the school. We have to stop blaming others for the lives we chose for ourselves.

What college does allow you to obtain is membership into a member’s only club. Something about that diploma makes people recognize you. Sounds stupid, but it does. You can now be taken seriously over those few other people in the world, merely because you started something, stuck with it, and completed it.  THAT is the principle behind going to school. THAT is why people are employed in fields that have NOTHING to do with their degrees, but because they finished something, employers deem them reliable. Or business partners deem them worthy of doing business with….should you become an entrepreneur. The world is your oyster once you know that the pearl inside is only half of the gift. So that is where I agree with Boots from up above.

In conclusion… with all of the aspiring or current lawyers from above… I swear I didn’t plan this..lol.. you can see the differences in opinions. Many say yes it is nice to have but it isn’t important, while others say it isn’t that important all together. I beg to differ. We have to stop picking fields just because it will make us money and pick what makes us happy and use that to make us money. That’s what I did. No, I don’t work in my field but I use it to make me money after my main job pays my bills. I think that the over all system is jacked…. but if nothing else fails, I think it is better to have a degree than NOT to have one.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter *~

Let’s Stay Together: Simon Says

Okay… I am praying that the only reason why you have missed the first two episodes of this show is because you actually have a life and not because you are upset that you missed it due to work or because you’re locked up in prison. Well.. if you missed anything… I consider you lucky… but if you must…..you can check out my recaps here:

Episode 1: Let’s Stay Together… or NOT <~Click Here

Episode 2: Filing for Divorce <~Click Here

So…. the previews left everything to the imagination. Other than the fact that the plot is doing this eerie copy cat of  The Game…not much makes me want to watch it. I mean really… how creepy is it that the same week The Game has a girl trying to push up on Derwin, Let’s Stay Together has some mystery chick pushing up on the wife’s husband. Damn, what is that bitch’s name?!! Oh yeh, “the less important Tasha on this new show that I really don’t give a damn about but have a blast bashing it because inquiring minds want to know”. Do they have last names know this show? Hmmmmmm. Damn, the writers didn’t even care to give them last names. lmao!!! Okay, I digress. In all honesty, Ronreaco…whoever he plays…is a very handsome man…. but I would believe it more if the engaged guy…. what is his name?… were to be hit on. See.. I have all kinds of grammatical errors just trying to figure out who the hell they are. But okay… I’ll suffer through this. I told you.. they get 4 episodes out of me. My faith is smaller than a mustard seed people; try the size of a flea’s sperm.

Okay.. Misery loves company in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, #Shit!

Wait….. they’re in the bedroom AGAIN?! Is their relationship based solely on them having sex or the fiancée bribing her man with sex?I am already over this episode. I forgot how it opened. About to eat.. will write in retrospect rather than real-time…. this is some bullshit!

Okay…. Nicole Ari Parker just saved this episode. I picked back up just for her. This bald-headed dude looks so familiar… now after I get past the fact that two light skinned-ed people are married to each other, I might be able to figure out where I remember him from. Ummmm…. BALTIMORE!!! Took 3 episodes for me to find out where they are. Hmmmm…. Not working for me. They don’t have the Baltimore accents for that. TRUST ME!!! I live here, I know! I have a couple of vocal coaches who could have hooked that right the fuck up.

You do know that I am searching the house of the married couple for signs of the twins. NOTHING! I’m calling child protective services on this show too! lol. And the husband is a lawyer? I’m lost.  So he was gonna give up law to become a lounge singer? See, ever since we lost Johnnie… there is no hope!

Ummm… what the FUCK is Kita wearing! I know for a FACT that they don’t wear that shit up in Baltimore. If I see that outfit anywhere near 5 Seasons, I’m shooting on sight! WHERE IS THIS CHICK FROM WITH THIS TERRIBLE ACCENT?! They can’t be FROM Baltimore.

Did the fiancée WHAT IS HER FUCKING NAME!!! just get upset because she is boring? Did she really just pout? Adults don’t get upset about that, do they? I mean, she really just got upset because her friends are getting alongg with her husband. .. WAIT!!! DID THIS TRICK JUST TALK ABOUT HARPO & HIS JUKE JOINT?!! *cue Lawrence Fishburne* “Time to Go!” Please tell me that this random chick sitting behind Nicole on the couch has people coming to meet her at the club. Okay, I was more concerned with WHAT IS THE FIANCEE’S NAME!!! running up the stairs and slipping and the fact that Darryl’s pants were up in his ass than actually paying attention to the plot of the show.

FUDGE NAWL!!! Who is this discounted hoodrat that they picked to play the girl interested in Jamal?Can SOMEONE hit her back with either some Dark & Lovely and Clean & Clear? No, not the back of her neck…like her actual back!!! Like, spine, shoulder blades, all of these spots and hair. I know where they were trying to go with that scene between the wife and the law groupie with the hairy back but they missed some valuable opportunities.  *sigh* please bring back the overacting karaoke. Yall know damn well that the fiancée ( whatever her name is ) use to be a Pussycat Doll….so she can sing. I think it would have been funnier if she came out and could sing but couldn’t dance. They just turned her straight into a caricature. I keep trying to help them… but they just keep fucking with my overall intelligence and willing suspense of disbelief. Besides, they plugged Facebook…. *whispers* The Game had iPad…lmao!!!!

Oh lawd… another botched strip tease? I’m calling my congressman. But at least it is over.

My Take 2 Review: I give it a D. The acting is somewhat better, maybe because they had the guest actors on there to balance them out, but the writing is still horrible and the purpose of the show has yet to develop for me. Girlfriends was about a group of girlfriends, and hell Friends was about a group of friends. The Game is about…you guessed it, the game. I’m in agreement that Let’s Stay Together is about relationships… but between the prestige twins, the bad accent on Kita, and the constant sex scenes…. I’m not getting it. Really not. Okay, they get ONE MORE episode before I get ruthless…lol.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game: Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splaining to Do~Ep3

Need a recap? Or need Russ Parr Morning Show to pay your cable bill? Okay, here ya go, Check out my blogs on the first two episodes here:

Episode 1:  Don’t Call it a Comeback <~Click Here

Episode 2:  The Game~ Episode 2 <~Click Here

So, I saw the previews for tonight’s episode last week and almost dislocated my knee to reach the remote to rewind. I must admit, I am in therapy for having watched it 20 times. Yes… I am a tad bit obsessive compulsive. DON”T JUDGE ME!!! I did it for you. Who else is gonna keep it real with your ass? But I digress. Okay. The marketing team did a great job of chopping up scenes that my God Gut ( that’s what Ma Dear use to call it) was telling me didn’t go together. So, with my Pandora station playing in my ear…. let me speculate on tonight’s episode.

So, First off…. why is this girl in their house? Who is this girl you wonder? Well… that is what I am for. After renewing my Black Woman Intuition and activating my Go-Go Gotcha Bitch, I have discovered…and this is just a speculation… that the mystery woman in the previews is none other than JAZZ! All of my The Game fans know exactly who Jazz is. I think her ghetto name is Jazzamena something WhoGivesAFuck, but she was the girl at the table with Javon (Bumper Robinson..I think that’s his name) during Melanie & Derwin’s engagement dinner at Malik’s house. Yeh…THAT BITCH! The one that everyone on the team has slept with. So, supposedly Javon proposed to her… soooooo what is she doing in Melanie and Derwin’s house? Yes… can’t you tell I’m ready to fight the trick off of GP? I know she is a character.. DIDNT I TELL YOU I WAS IN THERAPY?! So… This is why I entitled this blog Derwin’s Got Sum ‘splainng to Do.  I can’t wait!

Okay…side note: I left home this morning and forgot to set my DVR, so I drove home, set it, and went to a performance and will still try to make it back to watch it in real-time. BEcause if ‘AIN bitch on TWITTER spoils this for me…. I….wooo saaaahhh. I told you I was in therapy!

(Made it in the house with 5 mins to spare, stripped, changed in to comfy clothes & managed to get Chipotle on my way home. Your girl is BAAAAAD!)

The show will start in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, #GameOn , Bitches!

FINALLY!!!!! Malik and his mama speak!!! It took 3 episodes. That is some straight mess! So, it took him 2 years of this black hole for him and his mama to cut the umbilical cord? He doesn’t even listen to his mama the way that he use to. THAT’S NOT RIGHT!!! Why do I have a feeling that I’m going to yell a lot during this episode?

YES!!! I called it!! That is JAZZ!!! I’m a true The Game fan. Top that bitches!!!!! But really, why is she okay with her husband calling out the stats of anther flunkie? There is NOT that much self-esteem in the world. I know for a fact that God kept that kid of hubris for himself. For the slow folks…. google hubris! Ummm… who is this Rick Ross , Larry Hoover, Big Meech, MC Hammer looking motherfucker? His beard reminded me to schedule my bikini wax….damn! Please do NOT tell me that this look is coming in style. I’ll watch a marathon of Let’s Stay Together before I allow black men  to start doing this! Dont make me do it!

Hooooooooooooooooooooold the fuck up! Did Melanie take over as Sun Beam president. LMAO!!!

Ummm T-T…..Not dyslexic chimps! Okay…wait… T-T’s name is Terrance? It took us four years to find out what his name is. Okay… Malik and T-T just need to kiss and make up.  And this bug-eyed bitch that is Malik’s assistant is scaring me. MAKE HER BLINK!!!, LAWD , PLEASE MAKE HER BLINK!!!

P.S> I love the slight plug of the iPad Touch.  The Game must be PAID!!!!

Okay, that brains joke.. DEAD! Like Men on FIlm… “Hated It!” I see where you TRIED to go with that, but it was a no go. Maybe the pick up was too slow. Comedy has to come faster than a virgin in the grasp of Super Head. What? I know yall saw the video with Mr. Marcus…. I just heard about it. I mean really… isn’t this another scene that they are trying to catch us up on? I mean, hasn’t Jazz been a player’s wife for 2 years? WAIT! Did this bitch just call Derwin “baby”? LMAO!!! NOW THAT SCENE ON THE STEPPING STOOL WAS COMEDY!!!

Wait… is that a NUDE swim suit or is this Uncut? I’m is so confused-ed and wanting to go to the gym. Hell.. even I know that this bitch aint doing her job! LMAO!!! “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you only clapped your ass 3 times”

Oh lawd! I’m calling child protective services!! Just for Javon’s lil boy to even be in the same scene. Speaking of child protective services.  I SWEAR JAZZ LOOKS LIKE NICKI MINAJ! I was trying to put a finger on why I was itching! True shit… I have broken out into hives. I APPLAUD THE CASTING DIRECTOR! She was one pink weave track , a facial expression stolen from a seizure patient and a turrets induced vocal inflection away from being Barbie, Bitch. So….I agree with Melanie’s reason for being upset about Jazz trying to be a role model. And Tasha made a good point. Is the coochie the only way a woman can make it in Hollywood? WOW!!!!

Melanie shaking her butt. Ummm ( I love you Tia)…..but erah ummmm. HELL NAWL!

HELL NO! Rodney King, get the fuck back in the car Malik. Wait… that’s it?! Lawd…. can we still some time from Let’s Stay together and make it an hour show?

Ummm… where is the preview for next week’s episode? The marketing team is playing with my damn emotions! Oh wait… there it is. I cant remember what is supposed to happen next week.  Okay… it doesn’t matter. I will be watching. The only thing that I ask for next season… don’t wrap things up so swiftly. You are solving problems that was big enough to remain for 2 years in one episode.  I still have your back. Thanks for being back.

My over all grade of this episode: C+. Something that use to be there isnt there any more and I just cant put my finger on it.  It is slowly coming back…..and I mean slooooowly. I have faith that you will get it back. I just think that there is too much going on. The sets arent the same, the relationships arent the same…its just too much to swallow all at once. I know we are complaining, but you know how black folks do when it comes to new shit. We’ll never like it off the bat. But….. next season better be better. Now, touch the screen and agree!!!

Sincerely,

~*MY Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said….Freak ‘Em Dress Doesnt Impress (Much)

        We’ve all seen her, the girl wearing a dress so short you wonder if she has caught pneumonia in the coochie from the draft that is flowing up her non-existing skirt. Yes, her. Parading around to Beyoncé’s Freak ‘Em Dress like it is a national holiday and the anthem to girls gone wild. Her. And you wonder…..what is wrong with her self-esteem? She can’t possibly think highly of herself if she dresses this way. Or maybe she thinks TOO highly of herself and this is why she dresses this way. Either way, her attire raises some eyebrows and causes some flags to be thrown on the play.

        Some how, we as females all get clumped together. Guys see one girl dressing one way and behaving badly equates to majority of the women who dress the same way as women who will behave just the same. Not so. One action does not equate to another action. Like, how I have been blessed with cleavage…blame God b/c it wasnt my choice… but no matter what I put on it is present. I have had the pleasure of hearing comments that I must have worn that shirt that highlighted my cleavage because I wanted a guy to comment on my breast. On the contrary, I didn’t even know this ass munch existed and yet he thought that my attire requested such attention. it wasnt even provocative, just cleavage worthy.  It makes me want to cover up even more just top make sure that I don’t get those comments. My covering up may then be interpreted as insecure of my body , when in fact that is not the case. So, what does a woman’s attire actually say about her? Well, I asked 200 men what they thought.

The 200 men were asked:

What does a female’s attire/outfit say to you,as a man, about her self-esteem, confidence, and/or maturity level? How do you approach her or would you?

And again, their responses were very enlightening. Here is how they responded:

1. Kip S: I can write a book about this. But the way a female dresses says a lot about them. What they feel their assets are or lack there of…and the attention that they want. 
2. Young ’84 T2G: that is a big question..lol. Well as far as u, u seem to dress more sophisticated and mature. I would approach u with the intent just to converse and see where your mind is. (I love it when guys hit on me…lol)
3.  …….: Nothing besides if she’s a good dresser or not
4.  !! @ll YOU Need !: sometimes the more revealing and the tighter the clothes says that she’s looking for attention but she has to be carefull, she just might get the attention & it may be unwanted attention
5. STEVE B: Depends on the place and the aura she gives. Sometimes clothes can say a lot and sometimes we look too deep into it. Just because a woman dresses conservative does not mean she’s classy and just because a woman comes out half-naked does not mean she’s easy/hoe.
6. Miguel: Actually, I would say it depends on who wears what ,because an outfit can look trashy on some women and u will be scared to approach them, while on the other hand it can look cute and u really want to go talk to that woman.
7. Rokk-I La’ VON: I would approach any lady in anything that she wears. The attire doesn’t make the lady! If I am attracted to her, I am going to say hello!
8. Play: Well an attire tells you everything about a women. From the short skirts that tells you that a female’s looking for attention, to someone that’s covered up that is a lil insecure.
9.  *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: A female’s attire says a lot about them, it tells me how low is their thought level, confidence and her fear for God. I wouldn’t talk to her.
10. (!): I don’t judge a woman by whats on the outside but more of whats on the inside..I’ve met women who dressed skimpy yet have a better personality than women who dressed conservatively and were whores…I approach all as a gentleman.
11. Prestige “The One And Only”: Depends on the outfit. I never assume that the outfit being worn in dictating the type of attention a woman wants. I do however believe that certain outfits are suitable for certain atmospheres. The approach is situational…
12. K-LUST THE WILDEST MOUTH!:  A female’s attire means a lot to me. Itas a plus if it matcher ther personality! I wouldnt want a woman dressed up with a bad attituse or a sophisticated lady looking like a street walker.  its all in the personality. And I would say, “Hello, May I introduce myself?”

        So, maaaaaaaaaaaybe its because I am dealing with a higher quality of males here… because they seem to think that the clothing doesnt make the woman. But I am so very sure that you wouldnt take a girl wearing coochie cutters to meet your mother for the first time. There is a time and a place for all outfits, just like Prestige said.

        Ladies, we must know where we are going, what we must encounter, and weigh our options before picking an outfit.  Yes, I know that it sucks, but we must present an image of ourselves that reflects the true us. Trust me, you dont want to get confused with the girl who shows up to the club in 20 degree D.C. weather wearing fishnets, heels, and a Playboy Bunny corset swimsuit and expect me to think that you cared about yourself. We have to do better, collectively, so then the guys will get the message. Until then… dress accordingly.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said….There They’re but Not Their

        I think I was a grammar teacher in another life and all of the red marks I placed on the homework of  Students of Flunkies Past have come back to haunt me in my current life. lol. No, seriously, I am going to drag this topic through the mud so that we can see what people think about or even know about the English language.

        One thing that tickles me is to open up a note where a guy has written the wrong version of pen ( pin) and has no clue that “an” should not be used as a conjunction. These are the things that raise red flags to me. And when you point them out to help the guy from looking foolish in front of someone else, he curses you out and calls you superficial and stuck-up. I fight back the urge to yell.. “WELL, NEGRO, I CAN SPELL!!!”  But it still bothers me that there are grown men who do not know the difference between these homophones.

hom-o-phone n : a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not, as heir  and air

        The most popular homophones are affect/effect, capital/capitol, to/too/two, pen/pin, then/than, you’re/your, principle/principal, and my all time favorites they’re/their/there. These are the top words in the American English language that get misused on a daily basis. Somewhere along the way a person learned one and not the other, or they learned them both but not the difference between the two.  Often times, the misuse of these words can be as huge of a mistake as that twix commercial where he called his boss Dumb-Ass instead of Due-Mass simply because it was spelled Dumass.

        Each word has its own meaning, although they sound alike, and English speakers must respect that at all times in order to be properly understood.  For example. If I said, “I’m going to the capitol” in an email to my cheating boyfriend, he may think that he had a few days to cheat because the “capital” of our country is hundreds of miles away, rather than the “capitol” building downtown which is only a few minutes away.  When I was younger I learned that “capital” with an A was for places, cities and letters because place has an A in it and A is a letter and a city is a place so it just all runs together that way. Also, capitol with an O is for the building because capitol buildings have the round dome on top.  Or how the principal was never your PAL because he always called my parents about my behavior & how my parents believed in the principle of respect. Other examples are:

Affect & Effect:

The weather didn’t affect the pilot’s ability to land the plane.

Special effects make movies seem more real.

Then & Than:

She ate too much, and then she felt sick.

She ate more than the rest of the people in the group.

To, Too, & Two:

• I drove my children to school in the minivan.
• There are too many people in the room.
• The two boys were always in trouble.

You’re & Your:

• You’re a shining example of a good business person.
• Your writing needs to be the best it can possibly be before you submit it to an editor.

So, 200 of my amazing men were asked:

Many do NOT know the difference between Their, There, and They’re. Can you use ALL 3 words in a sentence? If so, please write a sentence using them correctly.

And by the time my deadline to post this blog came around….. they responded as such:

• Boots: I spoke to Mike and Erica and they’re going to the show tomorrow./Give housing a call, we need to find out if that vacant building is their responsibility or ours./Hey, lets go see why all those police cars are over there.
• “Duke” Banner: hello how are you is ms .story in she over there while you going that way go threw their and get check in .where is the report they’re over here
• Code Name Bigsexy: some 1 is over there.they’re going to the movies and their in my favorite movie
• Live And Love or LAL: Why don’t you do it and stop asking these stupid questions [2deep: Did I mention that I don’t like this asshole?]
•  Mr.Swaggtastikal: A lot of ppl dont knw their place in life. …….why u feel as though I cant come over there? …….They’re are to many ppl in my hose right now.
•  DJ Urban Cowboy: THEY”RE often over THERE in THEIR house, across the street.
• Lateef25: I want to know their location There they go get them They’re always running out of soda at the store
•  Chris C: She was protecting their business. I left the money over there. They’re all guilty. Did I pass?
•  Cut From A Different Cloth: LOL smdh at the fact you are giving people a grammar test on [website] but here you go. Why are you over THERE on THEIR computer giving people on [website] a grammar test ??? Im sure THEY’RE plenty of other productive things you can be doing with your life. [2Deep: I’m sure THERE ARE…but this is much more entertaining to my soul.lmao]
• Don L: lol! english class! I wish I was there with you right now. I promise you their neighbors know my name. They’re going to love my cooking.
• Allen O: So, there they were, showing off thier assets–if you know what i mean–and God knows if they realize the kind of naughty crowd they’re attracting … they certainly got my attention.

My Favorite response came from :

• H.O. R:  TO BE HONEST I DON’T REMEMBER WHICH IS WHICH BUT I NEVER STOP LEARNING

This is my favorite response because he was honest enough to tell a complete stranger that he did not know the answer, but was humble enough to mention that he will never stop learning. SO I sent him a note with the following examples in it:

There, Their, & They’re:

Their house was devastated by the hurricane.

There are twelve eggs in the basket.

They’re happy about their new home.

Their: shows ownership. As in “THEY” own this so it is Their house

There: is a place or location real or imaginary . As in she lives there, right there is your answer

They’re: a combining of the words They Are. SO instead of saying “They Are here”… you would say “They’re here.”

 

But my most eye-opening and inspirational response came from: 
 

• Mr. Mayor**DARKSTARZ INC PREZ**:  There will always be people who believe their way is best, but if they’re incorrect they could lose people they love and care about.

        It helped me to see that I shouldnt judge people just because they don’t know what I know, and I even took the scores off of the guys who responded. I could be wrong… and I don’t want to lose these amazing guys who chose to respond.  I applaud them for doing so and I appreciate them even more. They are helping me teach the world… and they deserve a round of applause for that! * Gives them a literal standing ovation in my office*  My fidora is off to you fellas. I bet you never knew that by answering a question in your free time could help another man, another boy, another woman or girl to understand the difference in a few words.  So, thank you for answering. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

        My original intention in writing this blog was to see how simple words are misused daily and to possibly educate those who misuse the words. It really is a soft spot in my heart for guys and their education. I feel that we spend more time on our girls and not enough on our guys. If I have to do it alone, I will let our guys know just how important it is for them to appear just as intelligent as they truly are. I want them to value education and learning at any age. And I dont say that just because I think that an educated man is a sexy man,but because everyone deserves the benefits that come with being intelligent and appearing intelligent. I dont want opportunities closed to them because they misspell a few words. I know this first hand.When I was a teenager, my cousin’s ex-husband wanted to get a promotion but he misspelled every word he came in contact with so he hired me to re-write his notes and help with his paper. I was more than happy to do so because he is an intelligent man. VERY INTELLIGENT and I am proud of him. And as a person who saw it first hand, just the way he spelled things could have kept him from getting a job that he earned. Sucks, but it happens. Now he has been in that job for years. SO I just want to help, and I hope that no one takes offense to this post. It really is to help. I love everyone… even the ones who dont deserve it…lol.  I’m not even going to spell check my own writing in this one….just to make it fair.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

200 Men Said…. :Internet vs Grammar

     There is nothing sexier than an intelligent man…..besides a man who can cook. But we can always order out if he at least knows how to pronounce hors d’oeuvre. And yes, I know, intelligence is not displayed merely by the graduate degrees he has placed meticulously on his wall to showcase what his intelligence got him. I know that it is much more than that. Common intelligence, also known as common sense, can get you to some far away places that people with degrees can only fathom because they can’t get those places out of their doctoral theory phases. So one may be intelligent and not look it, while another looks it and not truly be it. But, if you are indeed intelligent, wouldn’t you want to appear intelligent as well?

        Many times, I hate people who do not know what the HELL they are talking about and try so very hard to use big words, their verb-noun agreements are disagreeing daily, and their double negatives keep multiplying like BeBe’s kids. You automatically deem them unintelligent, correct? Because an intelligent person would showcase themselves in an intelligent manner. Now, I’m not saying that they must use big words or pronounce everything properly…though that would be nice….but the execution of their thoughts must be intellectual. As a person with degrees, I don’t know how NOT to write as if I went to college and actually paid attention in class. My inner coding won’t allow me to write as such. Yes, I do mess up and should use spell check or grammar check my comma usage, but for the most part…I think that I am very well understood in both my lingual/spoken and written formats. Is it too much of me to wish that others would do the same?

        Now, before I go any further, I would like to say that I wanted to see what 200 men would say about the topic of spelling and proper grammar usage….so in no way is this to bash them and their writing techniques. Everyone is entitled to their own slice of reality and to function in that reality how they please. It really did make me wonder why most people, particularly guys, didn’t see the need in having proper writing skills. It is almost etched into a girl’s head that she must be intelligent and scholarly, so who is to be my mate if I possess these skills? It is almost a turn off to see guys speak to me at, what I deem to be, a 5th grade level. I want a man who writes his thoughts out and I can read them with ease, and understand his truth. It is so sexy, actually.  So, I guess this blog is to bring forth the reason behind why so many people are not writing properly, the reason why some give, and the effect that such improper use has on people.

        When I am on the internet, daily I get messages that I simply delete. Having done so I had to search for a few examples of this foolishness that I still had in my inbox. Messages such as:

baby, am very impress to talk to you [name] bu name,nice to meet you again…….Can you send your email address to me know so that we can talk better…. hisname@yahoo …….. his phone number….. Love you  [2deep: I’ve NEVER met this dude, soooooo why did he say meet you again? ]

Or this

dam luv your sexz as shit

Or my favorite is when people get mad at me

and girl was was mesg back and forth so i don’t see how u went pass my note cuz when u don’t answer a note it still shows up when u log on and don’t give me that people make mistakes crap im not a child and god bless u

This one was angry at me too…lmao!

i don’t want to learn a lesson if i cant get to kno u better as a friend then never mind im not here to learn shit thats y i finish skool but like i said if i cant get to kno u better then never mind somebody mite need that lesson not me i kno how to talk to a woman i kno how to treat a woman n last but not less i kno how to RESPECT a WOMAN n also woman is not QUALITY they are queens

        I wish I could find the one of the guy from Michigan who told me that he was a “lowya” for 5 years. TRUE SHIT! I couldnt make this up if I tried! You see what I am working with? I am not asking for a guy to write to me with Shakespearean sonnets, but can he write to me in Standard American English? What is this trend of lowercase and run-on sentences? Can you help a sister out? Fake like this sentence is a night after unprotected sex and you can’t wait for me to have my period. Don’t worry….the messages above aren’t from any of the guys below. I wouldn’t do that to them. But I would want them to write to me like grown men. Like, the intelligent men that I know they are based on the advice that they give. I actually smile when I get a message from a guy who writes well, not perfect, but well. Like the time when I had a conversation about skin color and the guy wrote back with this:

Damn. It’s sad that anyone would have that mind state but I understand where you’re coming from.  It’s crazy that the green eye test is still having its effect on Black people. To think Blacks would let something as vague as skin color to completely separate themselves from each other and dictate how they treat each other. I wouldn’t treat anyone any different because of their skin color even though I might prefer a certain tone. Unfortunately, for too many of us, we allow anglos, latins, etc. to tell US what true beauty is because of our history. It’s just so stupid to me.

        I SWEAR I ALMOST TOUCHED MYSELF!!! He was able to keep my attention ( And he is one of the men replying below…lol). I think guys forget that women are mental (then emotional) creatures. We live a good percent of our day in our own heads. If you can take our attention from whatever we are dreaming up then you are half way there. Something about a guy who can write well would lead me to BELIEVE that he can speak well. Then, in my mind, I picture him teaching our kids to become baby Einsteins while I read a good Eric Jerome Dickey novel while sipping on tea on the sun porch. I guess that is what it all boils down to, are you smart enough to entertain my intelligence and should we ever procreate, are you smart enough to keep my babies out of Remedial English or Special Ed? 

So, 200 men were asked:

I’m BIG on proper spelling and grammar use! Actually, I’m turned off by its improper use. Do you feel that writing properly is important when conversing on the internet or is it overrated? Why?

        I would also like to point out that, usually, I edit and correct what the guys write so that my readers can read fluently and grasp the concept faster. Today, I’m not doing it. It actually takes more time for me to edit than to write my long drawn out version of why I chose to write the post. So….. after sending the question out….the ones who made it back in time for my deadline said this:

1.  Chris C: Not really. I believe you can tell a person’s level of intelligence from their conversation. After all, I was graded on my spelling and grammar for seventeen plus years and excelled at a high level…by the way, you forgot the apostrophe after “its”…lol [2deep: See, I love a man who knows that I made a grammatical error….so sexy! lol]
2. ”DUKE” BANNER: yes i do my queen that shows intelligents
3. Sincere: yes it is important, because i shouldn’t have to break a code to understand what you are trying to say
4.  Tony Raymond **Thank El Grego**: on the internet…its okay to use internet grammar but on the phone r in person its a diff thing….
5. Young ’84 T2G: I feel it isn’t that important, as long as the person you are talking to understands what you are saying. Some people know how to spell perfectly but choose to break down words because its less typing or because they’re just used to texting on there phone.
6. H. Xavier: overated,because i say,lol
7.  Blackstallion: I don’t think it’s overrated do to the fact that some people just would not like to spell the full word out, this is just like texting (short and straight to the point.
8. Kip S:  With the internet and texting, whatever gets the message across the easiest. Now, if it is formal writing…IT HAS TO BE PROPER
9.  Simon B: a lot of my stuff is run off as long as the person can understand what he are she is saying i don’t think it should be a problem ez up a lil bit
10.  DJ Urban Cowboy: I feel its proper to an extent. If your too much of a stickler for grammar, you can come off snooty. At the same time if you text sounds like something from a rap lyric or trailer park party invitation it can come of as uneducated or trashy.
11. *~ MR SPONTANEOUS ~*!!PEACE!!: Well to me conversing online with proper grammar speaks a lot about that individual. Some people knows how to switch it up, but proper grammar does intrigues me about that person.
12. Black Kryptonite aka the KID:  it is not overrated, we all make typos though and if you can get the simple sentence structure down then. Move on to the next person who can is proper when communicating on the Internet
13. Lateef25:  depends if you just small talking ot are you speaking on a important topic
14. Aries Brotha: I feel it’s nessessary to only when carrying on a conversation with someone that’s like-minded. And can appreciate proper edicate be it in a conversation, email, or letter. Too many times misspelled words and hidden meanings cause a disruption .
15.  P Reddz: Sometimes it is easier and more convenient to just ;how should it freessyle type.It it good to use proper grammer though.It shows that you are well educated
16. James F: i would like to understand what a person is saying but if i don’t its not a big deal to me…its overrated if they you use proper grammer cool if not thats cool too..its whatever with me
17. Hit me up on facebook-UB:  Its important because when writting on the internet you would want to understand the information that person is trying to writting. Some people would write like “wats up mi boi” or “wat it iz”. That why I think its overrated…..
18. RANDELL the caribbean prince[R]:  a little over rated
19. Nigi “Pistol Star” Pu Yi: Overrated cuz its Just casual chat! ppl type faster with less attn on grammar n spelling…they want the quickest n shortest route 2 saying wateva the want 2 say!…
20. Delonte M:  No I personally don’t think it’s a big issue. Depending on how I feel, I’ll type proper or with slang. I’ll talk to you proper since that’s what you like though
21. Young fresh to D:  not really only when handling businees
22. Horace J:  I think it’s overrated. As I tell my creative expression students “you are writing talk”. The importants lies on communicating yourself. Being understood and being understanding is paramount on this medium.. Ya gettin dat der gurl? Southern Slang.
23. Live And Love or LAL: Its overated, because you are talking to friends not business men and women. There is a time to but your business mind on and there is a time you just relax your brain

 And my favorite one of all is:

• …….:  Overrated,it’s only the internet not english class.

         True, it is the internet, but the internet is apart of this world; was English Class not to prepare us how to properly communicate with the rest of the world? Someone said that it’s overrated because I am talking to friends. What kind of friends do you have? My friends are geniuses!!!! lol. One friend of mine, since 3rd grade, has her doctorate in Chemistry, another stays in school so much that I have no clue what her degrees are but the girl is a knowledgeable beast! My guy friends give the best wisdom ever. And one of my big brothers didn’t go to college, but every time he hits a mic and spits he shuts the room down with his lyrical genius and word play. He gets paid to use his words and he does so beautifully. I honestly cannot think of anyone in my inner circle of friends who does not speak the way in which I type to them.

         Yes, I use shorthand when conversing online, but I also make sure that I establish and separate myself from the people who may appear less intelligent than I. And it wasn’t until now that I realized or even confessed that I did such a thing. I guess I wanted everyone to appear smart. I wanted them to put their best foot forward at all times and wait until you get completely comfortable with someone BEFORE you get lazy with the typing. I know that spelling and grammar doesn’t mean that you are smart or purely intelligent, but it sure doesn’t hurt, right?  And I know that there are a SEA of mistakes on my part running all up and through this blog, but for the most part…..you can somewhat get a glimpse of my intelligence…. I hope. And I hope that you are still able to see the true intelligence of my guys who participated. They have kept me cracking laughing, thinking of more questions for them to answer because they keep giving me so much insight and wisdom. I just don’t want their wisdom and insight to be lost in a sea of grammatical errors. Its hard enough in this world.

         Especially when it comes to guys, I want them to know that to appear to being intelligent is just as important as actually being intelligent. You don’t want a golden opportunity to pass you by just because you didn’t see a need in properly expressing who you really are on the inside. And I could be making a big deal out of nothing, but I don’t think that I am. Making our guys see their worth at ALL times is such an important thing to me. I don’t want them to be passed over because a judgmental wench, like me, deletes your notes because I don’t want to get a headache trying to read a massive run-on sentence. I want them to be able to capture every woman’s attention, every boss’ attention, hell…the world’s attention every time they write, the talk, and they walk into a space. I think that they all deserve the extra level of awareness that I have. I don’t feel I am being an elitist, but I do feel like I might be an heir to Grandison, and it is just in me to go back and get the people who are still back home and help them to freedom.  That’s all. [Click Here to read The Passing of Grandison by Charles W. Chestnutt. its a Short Story….one that all Africans and African-Americans need to read.]

         If you have kids…..please let them read this blog… or pass along the message. Teens are the #1 culprit when it comes to internet typing and texting and it is hurting their true education because they can easily hit spell check and never really learn how to spell or check their grammar. We are letting the internet make our people dumb… and that is all that I have to say about that!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Let’s Stay Together….Filing for a Divorce

        Still can’t get enough of this mess? Wonder what happened last week, if you missed it? Well you didn’t miss much. I still can’t remember what happened without having to see it on my DVR. But you can read my critique from last week. Click Here: Let’s Stay Together…Or Not. Well 3.5 MILLION people ( I guess I was a part of this) managed to watch this second episode. They loss just shy of a MILLION viewers from their last week’s total of 4.4 Million viewers. America isn’t falling for it. You just don’t LOSE a Million people, you might see them in the distance, but you just don’t LOSE a MILLION people. And I say MILLION in my best Austin Powers’ voice possible. MILLION. lmao. But I digress….. back to the reason why we are all gathered here today.

        WHERE THE HELL DID THE TWINS COME FROM? I’m pretty sure that the last episode I thought that there was just a married couple who went out, never mentioned the kids, and almost seemed single. Was there not enough budget to inform us of invisible twins? Wait… did this negro just drink Gatorade for round two of sex?! hahahahah

        I’m so conflicted about this cast and the script that I am wondering should I even bother writing a critique past this week. I’m trying to be supportive in a ” nigga I shot your mama so you could have her life insurance” kind of way, but the writers need to help a sister out!!!! Give me something to critique! Why must the single couple always start the show off in their bedroom? Are they gonna have sex every episode? I really need to go in there and use my common sense and MFA to help them work on timing and over all execution.

       Okay, 20 minutes into the show and still no site of these children, but the storyline for which they were introduce is rubbing me the wrong way. Okay, so it is such a big deal to put the boy twin in a pink jumper. Okay, why can’t they compromise and put then in gender neutral colors like pea green, sea-foam, orange, or purple? Is this a huge thing for men? Or is it that you just cant put your boys in pink? Is Gay contagious? Oh lawd don’t get me started on this. THE BABY BOY WILL NOT TURN GAY FOR PUTTING ON A PINK JUMPER!!!! I’m offended. Yes, I’m sitting here watching and they better address his concerns properly. And….they didnt. Okay. They made this a communication problem and not a bigot issue. I should have known!!!

        My overall critique of this show: The coonery went down by a ton! It actually got too serious for what they set up as our first impression last week. I still have no clue what everyone’s name is. I think Jamal is the husband and Kita is the sister of the engaged man, but I have no clue what the doctor’s name is or her fiance. Wow… and I am sitting here watching the show and still cant remember anyone’s name. Yeh, character development still needs mega work. Like this last scene with the tired ass strip tease. I get it, but I don’t get it. Okay, Mo’Nique is on and I would rather watch this than write any more on this show…

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Game:Episode 2

They’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! So, if you were under a rock and need someone to fill you in on what happened on the long-awaited comeback of The Game, here is what happened:

Recap: We pick up with the gang after a two-year gap, and what a gap it is. Derwin is now married to Melanie ( Dr. Melanie, although she is not practicing medicine) and father to DJ (Janay’s son). Melanie gives DJ a paternity test, tells Derwin he’s not the father, later to find out it was a mistake and he is indeed the father. Melanie has already told Derwin he is not but doesn’t correct the mistake. Malik is being a super ass and jealous of Derwin being the face of the Sabers and Nike, while sleeping with the wife of the Saber’s owner and T-T’s girl. T-T is no longer his assistant and actually has an opinion these days. Speaking of opinionated, Tasha is no longer with Rick Fox (WTF), and is now freaking down Terrance J of 106 & Park ( EWWWWW I saw him half-naked *threw up a lil in my mouth* I can take him seriously as long as he keeps his clothes on). While Tasha is busy gettin her groove back, judging Melanie, and dodging another ass whooping by Kelly, Kelly is busy with her reality TV show. Kelly is busy over acting and becoming a caricature that is driving me up the wall. Jason Pitts is the only one who seems to still be himself, and I love that. He takes back the power from Kelly at the end of the episode by interfering with Kelly’s reality show.And somewhere along the line their daughter Brit Brat got swapped  So, yes, it did take an hour for all of this to occur and I had mix feelings about it. Check out my blog : The Game: Don’t Call It A Comeback Pt2.

Now, that we have caught up… tonight I think we are all in for a surprise. We have already proven that what we were expecting is not going to happen, so they can either give us what we are used to or not, either way we will definitely be surprised. Show starts in 5, 4, 3, 2, GAME ON, BITCHES!!!!

I simply love how Tasha Mack has opened both episodes, but if there is one more episode of Tasha Mack being afraid of Kelly Pits…. I’m boycotting the show. That aint Tasha Mack!!!! She may talk shit but she definitely wont run from shit! Dont make me remind you all who Tasha Mack is!!! Dont make me go to my trunk! I haven’t heard a ‘nan “pow pow”. Okay, it just started…. I’m going to be quiet until the end and try not to give my review during the show. (No promises, may write during commercials).

I SPOKE TOO SOON!!! SHE THREATENED TO SHOOT HER!!! THE GODS HEARD MY CRY!!!! Wait… did they just strip?!  Or am I watching BET Uncut with Tasha’s ashy titties? I’m sorry… black people don’t strip like this without money in the immediate surroundings. But…. whatever will make the scene work. I think that they got back too quickly after being mad at each other for two years. I’m so lost! Lord I am so lost! The acting is almost back to normal….but the jury is still out.

Wait #2! Did Melanie just blurt out about the paternity test’s true results only because Janay was on the other side of the door. Like I said, if I were a writer, I would have told Derwin to get a second opinion because it could be due to human error. It would also cover up the fact that the friend messed up. But who am I but a fan who wants this to survive its resurrection? I also don’t think that Jason would have spoken so poorly of Derwin and Malik. What was the point….did they stop being friends in two years? I’m so lost! See THESE are the things that we need to be caught up on instead of all this BS that is 2 years too late.

Wait #3!!! Is Jason remixing the Dip & Pitts? LMAO!!!!!!!!! Funny thing is… can I get a copy of those leftover CDs? I really want to be among the first to pop out with the Dip & Pitts in the club. True shit! Dip & Pitts, and Pitts and Pitts and Pitts. I wonder who can I petition to get a copy of that song… I am soooo not playing, I want it. And where did Mr. Half & Half get rhythm from?

Okay, so… the Old Malik showed up and somewhat saved the say. it was good to see him show up and finally speak a glimpse of common sense. This is the Malik that I missed in the first episode. And while I am thinking it, why are Tasha Mack and Malik not talking to each other so far this season? I mean… not even in the club scene last episode did they speak and they were inches away.

The ending with Derwin forgiving Melanie…. I buy it. Unexpected and yet I am happy that it took som edge off this high drama that we are not used to…. HOLD UP!!!!! Aka WAIT#4, the sneak peek for next week. WHO IS THIS BITCH WITH HER BOOTY IN DERWIN’S FACE!!!!? BEAT HER DOWN MELANIE! Okay, the marketing team can stay employed……yall have me hooked and anxious for next week. Okay….I’m still a fan.

P.S. They’re on Mo’Nique’s show tonight too. And I’m watching while I should be in bed…. but anything for the cast of The Game. My only question is… was Brittany Daniel (Kelly Pitts) not invited because she’s white? Just kidding. They just said its because her nephew was being baptised. See….. I was concerned. Okay, but why is Coby on here like its a family reunion? I love Wendy’s dress!!! Work it! Funny How Pooch even says “That’s what’s up” outside of the show. lol. Wait….. they film in ATL? I’m moving back home!!!!! And yes… Hosea Chanchez is from ALABAMA LIKE ME!!! ALABAMA STAND UP! We’re a talented bunch. DAMN!! The Kontrol cover of Pooch! I have no clue what that magazine is for but I need a copy! Okay… I will stop drooling now. I will leave this for you all to enjoy.

~Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

        In the world that we currently live in, it makes me wonder if real men are standing up and making other males live up to the standards of being a man. And I am not talking about the football coaches who take care of just the guys on their team, or the few men who start the anti-violence and gang programs to keep the kids from hanging with the bad crowd, but I mean the every day gentlemen who would stop a young brother on the street and tell him to pull his pants up. Where are the men from the Civil Rights days who demanded respect just by walking into a room? There was a certain respect and responsibility that came along with being a man in those days, a responsibility that made everyone around you behave in the proper manner so that you all would be taken seriously. I think that somewhere along the line those types of men have gone into retirement and they forgot to train the next generation how to continue the tradition. These men forgot to teach them the purpose behind why being your brother’s keep is so important, not just in the black community, but in all communities.  So who can I blame? Where are these men who were supposed to teach these upcoming men how to behave so that I could continue to be proud of my brothers? Because now….its become the job of the single mothers and women dating these guys to teach them how to behave….and I don’t think it is our job to do so.

        They say that a woman cannot raise a man. If this is true, then where are the men who are supposed to make these boys and other males listen? As a woman I do not have access to the sacred Man Code book, but I do know how to behave in a manner to make a male understand what his boundaries are when he is in my presence. But is that enough? Are the actions of a woman grounded in her morals enough to make a male correct his actions and behave as a man? Personally, I don’t think that women alone can make a male behave as a man. It will take a man living as a man to set a visual and physical example for the male to believe that a woman isn’t living in her own imagination. A male would need a tangible representation standing before him as a cheat sheet on how to be a man in order to become one. I don’t know why it works that way, but it does.

So, 200 men were asked the question:

Are you your brother’s keeper? If NOT, why? Is it your responsibility? Have you ever corrected a male stranger when he was acting like less than a man?What’s your age & State?

        I really wanted to hear the responses from this question. I asked their age and location just to see if the answers would be the same amongst people in the same region of the country or males of the same age bracket. And out of those 200 I posted the responses of the males who responded back to me the fastest.

• ”DUKE” BANNER: IM A MASON, BUT OF COURSE I’M MY BROTHER’S KEEPER ,MY QUEEN. [I] TRY TO GUIDE THEM IN THE RIGHT WAY. (40yrs old/Lousianna)
•  Horace J: Yes, I am my brother’s keeper. If not me [there to] love him, then who will be? I have corrected males and been corrected. I have had ugliness pointed at me for my attempts. I won’t say they were acting less than a man but too aggressive. (39yrs old/New Jersey)
• Aries Brotha: I’m not my brother’s keeper. I’m the younger brother and he is the one that should lead by example. But in all due honest he and I are complete opposites in every way. (33yrs old/Maryland)
•  ……. :  No! I don’t put my nose in other people’s business. (26yrs old/Maryland)
•  Ddouble R: (1) yes i am (2)again yes i have, ( 38yrs old/Maryland)
• H.O. R:  I AM A KEEPER BUT NOT NECESSARILY MY BROTHERS. ITS NOT REALLY MY RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP HIM/HER BUT IT IS ON ME IF I NO INFO AND DON’T REPORT IT. SURE I’VE CORRECTED A MAN FOR BEING LESS THAN ONE. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN MY BUT TO SCHOOL FOR PSYCHOLOGY (39yrs old/Georgia)
•  Code Name Bigsexy: sometimes.it has to be something unreal then i would school the young dude. (30yrs old/Maryland)
•  big slim: Yes I am..if the next man is out of line around me then it’s only right for me too step in and put him in his place…I do this almost everyday ( 35yrs old/DC)

And my FAVORITE response came from :

• DJ Urban Cowboy: I feel like its our duty to correct our fellow-man… cause they represent your sex to the human population and when man acts the fool… women and even men think less of the male population as a whole.. (27yrs old/New York)

 

        INTERESTING!!! I find it amazing how majority of the men who responding thought that I was speaking of their literal brothers, as in a sibling and not the metaphorical Biblical Cane & Abel sense. So far age is not really a factor in whether or not these guys would check another male for not behaving properly and neither is location. Interesting. I would have thought that the younger generation would have been the first to say that they are not their brothers’ keeper. But it is across the board that my older gentlemen did not hesitate to put someone in their place.  And just like DJ Urban Cowboy said, we tend to think of the male population as a whole based off of the actions of one individual acting an ass. Sad, yet so true.

        And I have to comment on Aries Brother’s comment. He said that he doesn’t have to be because he is the younger and his older brother should set the example. WOW!!! This form of thinking is why we are where we are. There is ALWAYS someone younger than you who is watching your every move. You may be the younger sibling, but even then, sometimes we older siblings lose our way and if our younger siblings respectfully remind us of who we are supposed to be we can get back on the right track. It works both ways. You’re not just his brother, but you are his brother too. That’s like getting into a marriage and saying what you will and wont do because your spouse is supposed to do something. ALL relationships require equal respect, communication, and responsibility. I know, I have brother who I feel I have been a sister to but don’t feel that they have been a brother back to me. That feeling SUCKS ASS! So, having learned that first hand, it is everyone’s responsibility to make sure that our actions are reciprocated and equal.

        So, since we know that one clown can disturb the class, how can we get these men to become their brothers’ keeper more often? I could write until my fingers fall off or talk until my chocolate behind turns blue in the face, but what are some literal steps/actions that we could take to get them to look out for one another? Maybe we can try to work on the concept of brother. I think if we got people to think of the man sitting next to them as a brother we can get this family feeling back into the communities. And this should go across the race lines as well. Code Name Big Sexy, from above, is white and he gives some excellent feedback. If we all, women included, helped to promote the frame of mind that we could be more productive as the human race if we all helped guide the person next to us in the right direction , maybe…just maybe, we could actually get something accomplished. But….this blog means nothing until others believe it and start acting on it.  I am my brothers’ keeper…..I just hope that he keeps listening to me.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter & My Brothers’ Big Sister*~