~*2Deep*~

Posts Tagged ‘review’

The Words: My Review on Stolen Truths

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 26 January 2014 at 5:53 pm

The Words movie poster

They say that the truth begins where it ends. This movie ends with Clay, portrayed by Dennis Quaid, saying “At some point you have to choose between Life and fiction; the two are very close but they never touch. They are two very, very, different things.”  The Words make you question which you are watching. Even down to the last-minute you are questioning, not the movie, but yourself. Which plot line do you choose to believe? Read the rest of this entry »

A Ph.D. in Her: Vanessa Hidary

In Writer's Block on 3 July 2011 at 3:54 pm

“That’s all that I really want….for someone to call me their girl”. Okay, deal!

That’s my girl, my girl, I can’t come out because I’m writing this bomb ass review about my GIRL! You go, GIRL!!!

The Last Kaiser Roll in the Bodega, the book by the poetically talented Vanessa Hidary, was unlike anything you could have expected. Then again, when dealing with Vanessa, to expect anything specific or standard is already your first mistake; she comes without instructions or a road map but will guarantee you a wonderful journey outside of your limited expectations of life. The Last Kaiser Roll in the Bodega read like Vanessa put to page. Her voice sprang from the pages so clearly that I thought I was hearing things; she IS the last Kaiser roll in the Bodega.

Kaiser Roll

-noun: a rounded, unsweetened roll, formed by folding the corners of a square of dough toward the center, often sprinkled with poppy seeds before baking

Her life experiences, via what  I have read in the book, have shaped her edges, rounded them from their original square corners; one experience folds into the next. And if you have ever seen a Kaiser roll, it looks like a swirl. And if you’ve ever seen or heard Vanessa, she is a swirl of viewpoints, of experiences, of challenges…placed in a “Bodega”, on purpose, by destiny. Much like the Kaiser roll, she doesn’t come sugar-coated. She comes as she is and you either like her work or you don’t, but she will continue to be placed on the shelf for others to come and taste her, become full from their intake of her, and be thankful that she existed as a substance to keep one alive if they so choose to partake. Also, there may be other Vanessas in the world, but the seeds sprinkled on them will never fall the same.  I could be thinking too much into this, but I don’t think she chose the Kaiser roll by accident, I think the Kaiser roll chose her….lol.

From the moment that I read the foreword by Vanessa’s mother, I knew that I would be in for something unique, special, almost forbidden, yet, granted an oportunity to view. I had already promised Vanessa that I would keep this copy to myself,even forbidding the Holy Trinity to view over my shoulder, and I held true to that promise as I felt like I was reading her diary (even though I think she’d write in a journal to keep her hood credit). The Last Kaiser Roll in the Bodega read like a biography; poetry and monologues blending rather seamlessly, weaving an intriguing timeline.  Portions of her one-woman play Culture Bandit gave the most insight into who she was as a person and not just as the poet that most of us have come to know and love.  I could hear her voice as I read and even though she wrote “culturally greedy”….. I put this on everything I love….I heard “culturally greeeeeee-dy” and understood the poem better now having read the excerpts from her one-woman show. It wasnt just a poem any more, it was a page from her life. And here I was, all these years, just thinking it was just another fabulous work of art, never knowing it was Vanessa put to page, transported to memory, and dangled before us as she stood behind a mic. Tricky shield that mic can be.

To name one poem, excerpt, or monologue that I liked more than another would betray my love for the work as a whole. This was something that I swallowed in its entirety, digested as a complete entity, and was nurtured by the overall essence of what was being spoken. Yes, I do have parts that stick out in my memory, but that doesn’t mean that any other part spoke to my soul any less. I think we’ve all had a “Papo” and miss those days when we “didn’t let men get too deep in our blood stream“. I took to heart her grandmother’s advice of  ” even when you heart is bulldozed in the desert….you get up“. Brilliant.  But nothing made me laugh as hard as, “Motherfucker, I was ready to wear a bob wig for your ass and chop cucumbers. Are you buggin’?” Outside of my ignorance of Vanessa’s obsession with cucumbers….I still understood. Substitute her cucumber for chicken, greens, or black-eyed peas and you would have me. Yet nothing spoke the words I had been unable to convey, even to myself, better than the words from the poem Everything but Nothing You Wanted  that said “…you didn’t even sweep me up. I had to reach under your couch to find my own chin.” I thank her for that.

There is sooooooo much that I could continue to say about this book, but I won’t. I wish not to taint your experience by my more than obvious love for the words found within its pages. I say this honestly and not just because I am acquainted with Vanessa. It also has nothing to do with my Wendy Williams-ish obsession where Vanessa is my big sister in my head…lol. Yet, it may have something to do with the first time that I sat on the couch and flipped the channel to HBO and saw her on Def Poetry Jam and loved her performance and now have come to the realization that it wasn’t a performance, but a retelling of experiences. And maybe, just maybe, it has something to do with the time I met her for the first time in D.C. at a poetry event and saw her love for life. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that she autographed a copy of her CD for me and it has stayed in slot 2 in my truck’s CD changer for the past 3 years. It may be the reason why I reached out to her a year in advance asking if she would come be the feature at my poetry slam. She even performed Ga Bless You, Ma which foreshadowed my own Ga Bless You, Ma moment while walking down the U Street Corridors an hour after she backed away from the mic. HILARIOUS. I told her this when she came to feature at my show……she touches people with her real-ness. You get this sense that she has no reason to pretend when she comes into your presence and you’d be wrong if you thought that she would ever apologize for being exactly who she was designed to be. But I thank her for that. I thank her for writing The Last Kaiser Roll in the Bodega.  I thank her for speaking so openly. I know for a fact that she will be blessed. After all, being blessed for blessing others “is the price you pay for putting yourself out there.”

If you’re looking for my Siskel & Ebert/Roper, then you’ve come to the wrong blog. It is not my place to judge it, but to tell you my experience in the wake of reading Vanessa’s experiences that she chose to share. Yes, I love it. Yes, I would suggest that you read it. But that is just my opinion. I suggest you get your own copy and make your own opinion. 

To contact Vanessa Hidary or to find out more information about The Last Kaiser Roll in the Bodega, visit www.penmanshipbooks.com or visit The Hebrew Mamita Store.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~ El Fin

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 24 May 2011 at 8:18 pm

 

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed (Lucrezia’s Wedding)

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode 6: F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing (The French King)

Episode 7: Swartza, You are NOT the Father (Death on a Pale Horse)

Episode 8: Sgt. Lucrezia (The Art of War)

Episode 9: Nobody

As rumor, or fact, should have it…. this is the season finale. I must say that I am not prepared to let it go. Damnit! 

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #CrimeMurderFamilyAmen !

LMAO!!! King Charles called Cardinal Rovere a clown. Well put!

I must say, it humors me to see that both the French King and Cardinal Rovere are being played by the 15 year-old Lucrzia….lol. Never underestimate a woman at any age! lol DAYUM!!!! The pope in the friar’s robe tripped up the King of France too.  Good call!

And the way that Cesare snuck up on Lucrezia…. he better be happy that they are in a time before guns… because he would have been shot if he snuck up behind me like that. lol

The way that Lucrezia fainted made me laugh a little. I mean we saw it coming. I called it! Sforza, you are NOT the father…lol. Where is Maury’s great-great x infinity grandfather…lol?

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky!!! I think that the Pope is looking for this “precedent” for the cardinals that left the vatican to prove a point and his control. Shame, but I like it!

Ursela Bonadair (sp), now Sister Martha, is going to hide out Lucrezia until the baby is born. Soooooo, they were hiding pregnant women back then too? I thought that was something they started in the 50s. lol.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM!!!! Wow! The French King just straight hijacked Cardinal Cesare as a legget(sp). Hmmmm. Yeh, I smell a set up!

Okay, you can’t convince me that the Pope isn’t a pimp the way that he is straight out Holy Pimp Slapping these cardinals for leaving the vatican under threat of invasion from the French Army. Vice Cardinal Sforza just dropped a ton of his private land over to the Pope….lmao! He pimp hand is strong! I wonder how does it feel to be hoe slapped by the man of God?

And Cardinal Rovere…. this Christian ninja right here….lol. He is brave as hell.

Yes, Cesare, you are a hostage of the French Army…lol…! BUT DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYUM!!!! Did you and Micheletto just kil the two French guards that were suppose to protect you? GANGSTA BORGIA!! lmao!!! I mean Micheletto killed old doo with a cheese cutter….lol.

OH SNAP!!! Is Micheletto about to kill Giovanni Sforza?!!!! Damn. I suggest that no one mess with Lucezia…lol.  If all brothers were so eternally protective. Where are they taking him? I mean, they had old dude in a potato sack. lmao!

LMAO!!!! Lucrezia just said that her husband Sforza is impotent. And then the Vatican lawyer suggested that he publicly prove his potency. lol… hilarious!!! Sforza looks pissed!!! lol.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! How pregnant must Lucrezia be to already be showing? The time laps is confusing. And these two ugly fugly looking hooker are enough to make me never be turned on again. And I mean, really…….would they demonstrate sex IN the vatican in FRONT of the Pope and the college of Cardinals? LMAO!!!! Yeh, they pimped you , boo!!! lmao! I wish getting an annulment were still this easy! And then the news travels fast and the court jesters outside cracked me up. Shame!

So ladies, you should not worry. Lucrezia was a teenage pregnancy as well! lmao! Statistics start early in the Christian faith…lol. And she had a boy!!!! Awww how sweet. Lucrezia is a single mother…lol.

Dang!!! So plague kill the people of Naples, or was that the aftermath of Micheletto?

How strange for parents to reminisce over your children while your whore is standing in front of you.

Wow… that last scene with the entire family was beautiful. I can’t WAIT for it to come back on. I am going to miss it… I wont know what to do with myself in its absence!!! I guess I will survive.

 

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~ Sgt. Lucrezia

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 18 May 2011 at 2:59 pm

 

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed (Lucrezia’s Wedding)

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode 6: F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing (The French King)

Episode 7: Swartza, You are NOT the Father (Death on a Pale Horse)

Episode 8: Sgt. Lucrezia (The Art of War)

Episode 9: Nobody

 

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #CrimeMurderFamilyAmen !

So, truth be told, I have been spelling Giovanni’s name incorrectly. His name is Giovanni Sforza. Wowzers! And all this time I have been calling him Swartza…lol.

Ummm. Really. Juan is in a whore house when he has his brother’s wife at is disposal? Really. And I saw more saggy breasts in this whore house than should have been allowed , but I guess that a body is a body, right. And ewwww, Cesare dipped Juan’s head into the whore house bucket water. Yucky!!!

Damn, poor Paulo. I mean, really!!! Sforza, why must you whip him just because he wont tell you where Lucrezia is headed. But will you shut the hell up so that you may survive this whipping!!! Damn, Paulo… just hush! No need to get sassy with Sforza while he is whipping you. OUCH!

And again, I will NEVER understand why Juan was placed in control over the Papacy Army. SMDH.

Cardinal Sforza suggests that they abandonRomein the wake of the French Army coming towards them? Hmmmm I wonder if he has joined forces with his cousins. And why does Cesare not wear the cardinal hat like the rest of the cardinals? But at least the Pope will stay inRome.

My mouth almost fell off my face when Lucrezia and her father’s mistress, Julia, encountered the French Army on the road toRome.

Okay, Preach Juan. I SOMEWHAT agree with meeting the French Army further away from Rome so that they cannot use their cannons to destroy the walls of Rome. I mean, he is looking a little thuggish; straight loving his swagger. Go Juan! It’s your fight day! Lol.

WOW! I forgot that Micheletto (the Assassin) even existed. I wondered what happened to him.

Ummm… yeh, Cardinal Rovere is so bold to walk to where Julia and Lucrezia are being held by the French Army. But I must say, Lucrezia is a smart cookie; especially since they have been invited to dine with the French’s King Charles. And the way these ladies are playing King Charles at the dinner table should be patented…lol.

HOT DAMN!!!! The way that these chained cannon balls tore through the front line of the Papal Army was purely gross. Now, I do wish that the graphics persons would have given greater detail to the dead bodies… they look fake as hell. Lol.  Yes, Lucrezia is such a smart woman… the way she ran across the field to negotiate this offer to her brother, Juan, on behalf of King Charles’ bloodless entry to Rome is genius. Now, if in fact King Charles is aimed is to attackNaples, then Lucrezia just made the biggest and simplest military move I have ever seen in my entire life.

OUCH! Cesare calledRomean “old whore waiting once more for her ravishment”. Hmmmm. I wonder how this will play out.  And Juan used the word “lemming”? That term was used back in 1492? I just thought it was a video game for Sega…lmao. The more I stare at Juan’s hair it just looks like he gets his hair done at the same place as Donald Trump’s comb-over.

Now, try as he might, The Pope cant make me believe that he isn’t hiding….lol. He wants to hid in the simple garments. But It was a nice touch how he said it was to face his enemies the same way that The Savior faced his in his final hours. GENIUS! Scandalous, but genius. Man, those sandals look like some worn down American Eagle sandles.

And now, Cesare is trying to get his mistress to flee from her nunnery. Woman, RUN!!!

Wow! I cannot wait to see next week’s Season Finale!!!!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~ Swartza, You are NOT the Father

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 9 May 2011 at 11:08 am

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed (Lucrezia’s Wedding)

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode 6: F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing (The French King)

Episode 7: Swartza, You are NOT the Father (Death on a Pale Horse)

Episode 8: The Art of War

Episode 9: Nobody

Today was packed with soooo much to do. I discovered how to take notes in church on my Nook Color, cooked dinner for the week with my mentee, and managed to pick out all of my clothes for the week. Why, you ask? Because… I am turning my life around for the better…..and I want to have more time and energy to come home and blog for all of you wonderful people. So, all of that to say, Sorry for being late with posting this blog but I still love you… please still love me. lol.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2, #CrimeMurderFamilyAMEN!

Okay, soooooo there was too  much going on for me to pay attention while I was cleaning my house. Yes, I clean at 10pm on Sundays…lol.

First off.. still calling Roman Police on Joffre’s wife. THAT IS SICK!!! You will NEVER make me like the fact that children had to consummate their marriages to older people. Just flat-out nasty! And Sanje (sp), Joffre’s wife is still having an affair with Jaun. SHAME ON JUAN!!!!!

Lucrezia is still getting her groove on with Paulo, with the helpf of Francesca, the maid servant. Swartza was getting better and wanted to get his groove on until I think that Lucrezia slicked the floor and made him slip and hurt his leg again, preventing him from having sex. Rumor has it…. they havent slept together since Swartza broke his leg. So, in my Maury voice, in the case of the morning sickness being exhibited by Lucrezia and found out by the pope’s mistress…. Swartza, you are NOT the father….lmao! Paulo, looks like you’re gonna be a baby’s daddy! lol. But….only Lucrezia and her father’s mistress know about this.

Speaking of mistresses, Cesare seeks out to find the woman whose husband he killed. She was housed in a nunnery which fell under his cardinal house. She fought and held on to her vows as a nun and pushed him away. I have a feeling that he will be back….and eventually she will give in. Girl, you know you want some Cesare!

Rovere is still at it. The King of France has marched through a city ( can’t remember which) and killed a bunch of innocent people. Children and women were slain in the streets. And the fight choreographer had a thing for showing slashed necks as if nothing else could be stabbed. I think I got the picture after the 5th slashed neck. Rovere pleads with the King to allow him to march ahead to Florence and seek Florence’s surrender so that peace may follow instead of the massacre that occurred that day. I would too if I heard the voice of Uncle Fester’s earlier premonition of the bloodshed that would follow if war were to break out in Italy.

The King of Florence was straight gangster. He made the King of France ride with his lance backwards and even lowered the gate to the city low enough that would make him have to ride with it backwards. Rovere and the Florence king spoke of rumors of the both of them being excommunicated if they participate or surrender to the King of France. The King of Florence sai, ” Well, I guess it will have to depend on one’s definition of Surrender.” CAN WE SAY GANGSTER!!!

Well, the entire Swartza family is joining the rest of the country and will allow the French Army to march through. Despite the promise Lucrezia’s husband made to support the Pope when he married her, he is joining the decision of his cousin’s and will not protect the House of Borgia. SHAME ON THIS BROKE LEG, LIMP DICK HAVING HEATHEN!!!. Did you not hear me say, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER! hahahahahah.

If anything else occurred? I cannot remember. Blame it on my busy life and not on my willingness to entertain. See ya next week. And Scene!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~ F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 2 May 2011 at 10:35 am

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed (Lucrezia’s Wedding)

Episode 5: Borgias in Love

Episode 6: F.ornication U.nder C.onsent of the K.ing (The French King)

Episode 7: Death on a Pale Horse

Episode 8: The Art of War

Episode 9: Nobody

I should have written this last night, but I had to prepare for this morning. But, rest assured that I did at least watch the show…. so, shall we?

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, ,2 , 2, 2, 2 #CrimeMurderFamilyAmen

Okay, off the bat…. this episode was clearly a reflection of a sexually oppressed writer. I think the only male butt and female’s breast I didn’t see in this episode was Vannozza ( the mother of the Pope’s children) and her husband. There were freaks to the left of them, freaks to the right of them….lol.

So, outside of all the blatant fornication, there really was some progression in the plot….I think. Rovere was still milling about the country trying to bring France to Rome’s front door. Which to me is the STUPIDEST thing to do. Why kill innocent lives just to bring down the papacy? I feel like I should have called on the Charmed sisters. P3 to the rescue!!! But he succeeded in getting the King Charles of France to agree to begin a war, right after he showed him the destruction that a cannon can do to a castle wall. Yes, I have always wanted to shoot a cannon into the side of my own castle wall……sign number one.

Lucrezia has quickly settled in to her role of Battered Wives 101. After setting up Swartza to fall off the horse, where he subsequently broke his leg, she has taken on the role of his caretaker. He immediately apologizes for the way that he treated her merely because she has Borgia blood in her veins. She wipes it away as she has more tricks than this up her sleeves. She later mentions to Cesare that she finds that a confined husband is a more tame husband.  Her an Paulo kick up their sexual raunchiness up a notch. Yes, nothing says “freak me baby” like poison ivy in the ass after a romp in the forrest or sex on an old, creaky maritial bed. Even the servants are helping to keep Paulo and Lucrezia’s sexual activities under wraps. Swartza once heard the bed squeaking from the room he now sleeps in due to his injury and seeks out the cause of this noise. He was under suspicion that some sexual activity was going on, but the servants stopped him in the hall by showing him that the noise he heard was merely the squeaky butter churn. CLEAR GENIUS!!!

Juan was supposedly next in line to be married, as Cesare is now a cardinal and cannot be married. They show the bastard daughter of King Ferrante of The House of Aragon (Naples). It is agreed that Joffre, the youngest who I believe is only 13, will be the one to marry her. Juan makes up some excuse that he must go check out this betrothed woman on Joffre’s behalf. Upon getting to Naples he has dinner and is given Sancia, the Dukess ( which is my first time hearing the term), as a tour guide of the castle. Sancia and Juan found it rather erotic to have sex on the table of the embalmed dead people who King Ferrante kept in his castle. Yes, THIS was new levels of freakdom for me.

Another level of Freakdom is that Sancia still married Joffre Borgia, and moments before entering the marital bedroom to consummate their marriage, she was behind the wall having sex with Juan. Yes, I find it highly creepy and a means to file a child molestation charge on those who felt it okay for a 130year-old Joffre to consummate his marriage with this 20-something-year-old illegitimate child of King Ferrante.  The scene, down to the fade out was rather creepy and uncomfortable to me. Just saying….. But at least his mother was allowed to attend his wedding. And oh… Cesare and Vannozza picked up on the subtle clues that when it came to Joffre’s betrothed wife…. Juan already hit that…lol. Well, they gave that impression, any way.

Cesare, which I find it interesting to keep hearing everyone pronounce his name Chess-ah-ray, finally gets some booty from the nobleman’s wife. For 3 weeks they broke her wedding vows and some of his Cardinal vows as well, just for her to discover that her husband was found dead with knife wounds to the chest. She feels guilty, gets all dramatic, Cesare says that he will hunt her down and she will never get rid of him, and she joins a nunnery. *Cues Shakespeare Abridged* “Get thee to a nunnery!”

Juan happens to be at his mother’s cottage when her husband shows up; not to be confused with the Pope, mind you. He gets enraged and beats the living spit out of this dude. All under the premise that rumor has it one of the Borgia children are indeed Vanozza’s. Juan confronts the Pope, to which the Pope replies “You are our son”. I think he was speaking in the papacy sense, as in You are the son of the Pope, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. I don’t think that he means, Mine and your mother’s.

There is soooo much here, and judging by the simple Google search that I did to find Sancia’s name, this series could go on for YEARS!!!!! I don’t want to spoil it, but research showed me that people get married more than once, and the debauchery continues! STAY TUNED!!! Amen

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~The Borgias in Love

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 25 April 2011 at 12:02 am

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

Episode 4: Something Borrowed

Today is Easter Sunday….I wonder what debauchery will be brought forth in this episode. Hmmm…whatever it is, I pray that it is worth asking for forgiveness.

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2,2 #Crime, #Family, #Murder, #Amen

WOW!!! How creepy to have Lucrezia come out of the water that way, all pale and float into the painting in the ceiling!!!!!!! PERFECT ENTRANCE AND BRAVO TO THE CINEMATOGAPHER & DIRECTOR!!!!

I still feel terrible for Lucrezia and the man she was forced to marry. Shame! I know for a fact that I was born in a time where I too am given to option to love the man I marry. Who would have thought this would have ever been a perfect choice for her. Shame on her father! That last episode and every scene with Lucrezia and her husband Swartza….still bring emotions for me. Great job on the writers!

Now, Cesare and this woman who he met at his sister’s wedding….wow! Dudes back then could meet a woman from a dance, catch feelings and be ready to kill for her? Where did that part of the male chivalry and romance go?….lol. So this woman is married and yet, that does not stop Cesare from wanting her.  And of course Cesare’s mother brings forth the idea that he could leave the church to have a life with this woman if he so dared. Wow…. Cesare told the woman that he would put her heart “in fear of its life, but he would never harm it.” WHO WROTE THAT?!!! I need to follow them around to obtain such genius.

I need for them to speak more clearly!!!! I just missed a very important line due to mumbling!!! Something about threatening Lucrezia’s husband with some kind of possibility. It would have to deal with Giovanni Swartza’s nephew, i suppose.

Rovere is spending all of this time traveling; first Naples, then Florence, and now Milan? Oh wait…..so it was not Lucrezia’s husband (Swartza) that the Pope spoke of…but his cousin is Giovanni Swartza. But wait… did he (Giovanni) just pee through the floor onto his nephew for him to drink? EWWWWW! But at what point was Rovere fulfilling his cardinal duties?

And I must find out more about this Machiavelli from Florence; the same who spoke with Rovere and now seeks out Cesare. Wow… the clever wordplay of this episode is enough to make me touch myself……like watching this guy take baths as Lucrezia watches. Oh…so the handsome servant is Paulo. Hmmmmm…lol

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The revealing for the portrait for Princess Silvia from Navarre(sp) almost had me choke on my Sauvignon Blanc…lol. Juan’s face was simply priceless….lol.

But help me understand, is Lucrezia so longing for companionship that after being practically raped she is so connected to the servant, Paulo? But I guess some victims behave differently. But brilliant to have Paulo mess with Swartza’s saddle to make him fall.

LMAO!!!!!! So the Cardinal (Swartza) was caught with his cousin, twice removed Jerry Lee Lewis style, leaving his room with sexual purposes floating in the air when the pope walks in. Funny how the pope said, “I would hope more than twice removed”.  And his going to Milan killed the Duke that was chained in the floor, the nephew. Wow…..thsoe people had not a care in the world.

I quote “Now my best would break your promise, Borgia” . Even the Assassin is a poet, I see.

Wait… does the pope carry a flask? Ummmm….so communion is a daily ritual for His Holiness? lol.  *takes a sip*

Damn, Cesare…… a dude disrespected your mother and you killed the Barron? Remind me not to say anything about your mother, Vannozza(sp).

So, Swartza did fall off of his horse and broke his leg… back then that could almost be deadly if not set correctly. But I think that this should be a warning to the heads of households who do not properly treat those who support them. I make a personal reference on that sentiment. Oh, what I would give to return to 1492………And Scene.

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~ Something Borrowed

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 22 April 2011 at 12:10 am

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

Episode 3: Stench of Borgia

I must confess… it becomes harder and harder for me to blog about this show in my original format. I get so caught up in trying to watch the show that I actually forget that I am supposed to be blogging. I find that I have to watch the show once through to gain the concept and string of events and then I must come back and watch it again to blog uninterrupted. And with an hour-long show, I find that to be too much of my already limited time. So, we will see if this stays as a part of my blog list.

I really want it to stay, really, I do. lol

Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2, 2,2 #Crime, Family, Murder, Amen

So this episode,Lucrezia’s Wedding, starts off with a beautiful scenery of Florence and Cardinal Della Rovere riding into the city walls. Some man of the cloth, unknown at the moment but bares a close resemblance to Uncle Fester, is hailing from the pulpit how Pope Alexander (Borgia) is an abomination to the church. Such strong words, don’t you think? But I just know that this is right up Cardinal Rovere’s ally.

Lucrezia is seen in bed sick, from incest maybe…but at the moment I am unsure. Cesare is seen taking care of his beloved sister. If this is cold feet…. I want hot feet;she seems to be breaking a sweat from a fever. Waiiiiit, is she upset at the horrible death of Jem? She mentions that she shall never have another friend like “him”. HOW DARE CESARE LIE!!! He told Lucrezia that Jem died from swamp fever. I have seen a moor die from many a things, but seldom a mosquito bite! And yes, I am still upset about the manner in which they killed him in the last episode. And sure, I know that they took creative liberties with the script and who knows, maybe Jem never asked to switch over to Christianity… but if he did…. I have a good feeling I know where the Borgias currently reside. Hell, even if he remained a Muslim and they killed him I know that I could ask Lucifer to give a Borgia a finger after passing the salt at the dinner table.  but I digress.

The scene with the pope and his wife or was she just his long-term mistress too? Whoever she is, there scene together is one that brought forth so much information. The pope has banned Lucrezia’s mother (Vannozza dei Cattani) from attending the wedding as not to bring forth any form of scandal. As legend has it, Rodrigo’s wife is rumored to have been a courtesan. Hmmm… so she was good enough to wife, have children, but not good enough to attend the pope’s daughter’s wedding? Confusion. Speak of scandal. *southern Baptist church fan, leans in pew to spread the news*

Cesare, the lying bastard, meets with the Assassin (Micheletto)  and a hooded mystery man who looks more like the apothecary from Romeo & Juliet or the hooded MJ upon entry from Remember the Times.  Cesare asks, “What is he? Benedictine or Franciscan?” Hmmm… *google search*

Benedictine refers to the spirituality and consecrated life in accordance with the Rule of St Benedict, written by Benedict of Nursia in the sixth century for the cenobitic communities he founded in central Italy.

Most Franciscans are members of Roman Catholic religious orders founded by Saint Francis of Assisi. The most prominent group is the Order of Friars Minor, commonly called simply the “Franciscans.”

 

From what I can gather, both groups were banned for one reason or another and its Catholic members were placed into exile. Will do more research to find how that is relevant to this time frame, but as it stands…there is your answer. Or my answer since I asked. lol.

So, the Assassin has brought him to see Cesare. When asked the aforementioned question, Micheletto mentions that he is of some “order” …one of which diction would have been helpful to clarify. But, since Cesare mentions his “begging bowl” one would rely on history to know that is a Buddhist term. Anywho, Cesare mentions that he can go to Florence, probably to scope out dirt on Uncle Fester, and return it back to the Assassin. And again… I have no clue what the hooded man’s name is. I think he said John something, but I do know that he is at the eminent’s service…lmao. And the scars on his face may very well betray him as they did the Assassin in the salt baths.

The pope’s mistress and his daughter are still close; baffles me if that would EVER happen today. Lucrezia mentions that Jem still visits her in her dreams and Giulia Farnese tells her not to worry. And Lucrezia confesses that the Moor has a secret to tell her and that, in her dreams, she must kiss Jem to comfort him. She asks Giulia if it is permissible to kiss a Moor in her dreams to which she answers that everything is permissible in our dreams.

The scene where Giulia teaches Lucrezia about kissing reminds me of the park scene in Cruel Intentions.  A “chaste kiss” is very innocent and full of promise. Then there is the “kiss of pleasure” which begins to promise. And the kissing lesson is broken…and Giulia leaks the secret of her mother not attending Lucrezia’s wedding. Upon inquiring the truth from the pope…he storms away without promising her of her mother’s attention.

Sidebar: I am only 13 minutes into the show! Packed with drama…..I must find a better way to describe this! BUT I LOVE THE SCANDAL!

LMAO!!! The theatre show is frigging hilarious! the woman on the floor cleaning with the man behind her simulating doggy style almost made me bite my tongue! I am sure doggy style has been around for ages, but so out in the open? Hmmmmm Nice to know.

And how sneaky of Cardinaly Rovere to request that Florence alow France to march through their city in order to invade Italy. I really must do research, but I don’t want to spoil the series.

Now, who is this Theo character? He said so much that I got even ore confused. Was he previously Vannozza dei Cattani’s lover? Waiiiiiiit, Theo is Vannozza’s husband/ I am so confused, then how is she in the Vatican with the pope? And why is Theo so afraid of Cesare? CONFUSION, CONFUSION, CONFUSION!!!!

Now Uncle Fester is scaring me with his description of his dream. he dreams of a cleric in red who will welcome a northern army ( France) to come and bring destruction to Rome. He even mentioned that the Borgia pope will be dead. I’ve always been wary of prophets…. but…continue.

And look… Christopher Columbus provides a savage for the Pope to look at. Are you going to kill this one like you did Jem? What? Just asking. lol.

How ironic that Cardinal Rovere can ask the question if it is a sin to spill blood for the greater good and to banish evil. I’m not calling out any religions….but I think you catch my drift. SMDH. And how could he not know that the supposed man of the cloth in the confessional is not a man of the cloth. Sure, only we would know it is the hooded man… but come on! Watch who you tell your business too.  I am not telling a minister jack! This is why I have a direct line to the LAWD…..have mercy! The hooded man let it slip out and called him Cardinal. DAMN!!!! Cardinal Rovere just stabbed this son of a bitch in the eye. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Okay…. the play and the vulgarity…flashing breasts…smh. I knew they went too far into the episode without sex. lol.

And boy, I damn near forgot that Joffre even existed. For a moment there I thought he was the Borgia version of the twins from Let’s Stay Together. lmao

Thanks the heavens above for the Americas! If it were up to the old country there would be no Bridezillas due to arranged marriages. How would I spend my Saturdays? But this wedding is gorgeous!The actress who plays Lucrezia is absolutely stunning. *Girl Crush*

How BOLD of the pope to parade his hoe. The nerve, I tell you! But even bolder is the courage of Cesare to bring his mother to the aftermath of the wedding in sheer defiance of the pope’s orders. Such a turn on. lol. But nothing beats the confusion that I have of such a vulgar play displayed for the POPE after a WEDDING. Say it with me now, CONFUSION!!!

But this bedroom scene between Lucrezia and Swartza(sp)…..NO!!! I am emotional over this. He called their wedding a farce! But to rape her! *sharpens my knife* THAT IS UNCALLED FOR! I never understood how guys could get so angry that they get turned on enough to get an erection. I must stop writing…..I am pissed, furious, and amazed by the cinematography and its ability to make me get this angry at what I just saw. Brava!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Borgias~Stench of Borgia

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 15 April 2011 at 12:06 am

       

Episode 1 & 2: The New Tudors?

        Primed and ready to write. Sitting here blogging and webcam chatting with my boy Steve (interesting to say the least since it is booty call hours….and that is where I shall leave that) But he has perked my interest to write more honestly about this episode as it comes on. Yes, I too am turning down cuddle time to blog. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!! My grind is starting to take a weird turn for the lonely! lol. This is the 3rd time I have done so. Oh well!

        Take 2 in 5, 4, 3, 2, 2, 2 Crime, Murder, Family, Amen

        Wow…. I love this show. I have to remember how to spell everyone’s name. Of course I know Juan… but Cesare… I must try to remember. Wow…did Rodrigo just say that he thought that Jesus was crucified by Romans…lol. Funny.. WAIT!!!!

        The prince of Naple’s voice is highly annoying. And this Cardinal snitching on Borgia is retarded. But what was the purpose of a room full of dead stuffed people? I am so confused. entertained, but confused. So much dramatics just to rid the stench of Borgia.  So were the dead his father’s advisories?

        It baffles me why the father would send the stupid son to war? What does the pope get out of keeping Cesare there? OH MY WORD!!! Why is the traitor helper dude sitting in the banquet hall full of dead people just staring at them? I am soooo creeped out by that. Yuck! So not sexy. I have to see if there is any truth to a banquet hall full of dead people as soon as I can figure out whose house this is supposed to be.

        I guess I will have to watch this long enough to figure out why Cesare doesn’t want to be a cardinal. And why are men giving men massages? Wouldnt they have done as the Greeks do and have the women massage them?And they had face masks back then? lol. funny.

        HOLD THE FUCK UP! Did they just kiss the Pope’s SHOE & his pinky ring? Get the hell up out of here! Oh hell nawl!!! You’d have to banish me from the damn church. I have a hard enough time grasping the concept of drinking after damn strangers out of the communion cup… and now I have to kiss a mofo’s shoes?!  Talk about faith! If it takes that for me to follow God, I’m switching to Allah!

         And damn!!!! The assassin got caught in the pool, but I was typing and didn’t see how. Damn! But I did catch a glimpse of the Cardinal’s package. He has more faith than a mustard seed….I likey! But the Assassin failed. Yet, how do you get your ass whooped under water? Ok…it came on again directly after so I got to see how the assassin turned around to get his weapon and the Cardinal caught him in the pool and recognized him by his scars.

        And I know that the last episode had hem trying to bring out the pope’s extramarital affairs, but he is just bold about it now.

      And the muslim from Constantinople (sp) is actually quite cute. Lovely.

        And wow, they want to marry off Lucrezia, but isn’t she only 14 years old? Ewww creepy!

         I think that she and  Jem ( the Muslim) should date.  Wow, it is cool to see Juan & Jem call each other brother. And to think there was a time where Christians and Muslims werent burning each others Holy Books. smdh.  And Juan is a horrible swordsman.

        WAIT!!!!! The Pope just told Cesare last episode that their papacy stops at murder and then he contemplates killing Jem for 400 thousand ducats? I cringe at the thought that a man of God would consider such a proposition. This really is testing my overall faith.  I mean, he didn’t call Jem a heathen until he was seen dancing with Lucrezia.  Shame…..and it begins;separation between Muslim and Christians.

        I swear, this incestual chemistry is creeping me out between Lucrezia and Cesare. But I guess that is what they did back then. Wasnt it Henry VIII’s family that was full of incest so badly that they had the mutated jaw?

         WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!! Jem wants to become a Christian based on the fake Christianity that the House of Borgias has granted him in his stay. My heart just dropped out of my chest! And now this confession will give them a reason to kill him as long as he confesses his sins before God before he is killed!. Reminiscent of Hamlet’s father, right?

        And it baffles meat how the pope’s mistress is allowed to spend so much time and have such an influence on Lucrezia.

        Poor Jem! He is dying such a horrible and painfully slow death. I want to cry. Shame. And then the black man gets blamed for him being poisoned.  I am literally ready to yell at my television screen as if I can change history. Talk about great cinematic play. but it shames me to know that the vatican floors are paved with blood in such an unrighteous fashion.  I can’t watch this….. NO, JEEEEEEEM! I hate Juan’s stupid ass for smuggling Jem. Ah! if you knew how it makes me want to scream as a Christian right now you would understand my hatred stems from a raw place. I needed not watch this.

        And how DARE the pope pray for protection in the wake of such sins! Do Catholics really think that they can continuously sin and continuously ask for forgiveness? Is that how it works? AH!!!

        Next week looks enticing!!!! And I hear that the mother is not invited to the wedding? oooooooh! Yummy!

        I am falling in  love with this show and have no way of understanding how I actually have emotional reactions to each scene.  I’m confused. In short, it is soooo hard to watch and type for this show. It gets so good that I want to sit and watch, but then I will forget my immediate responses. Shame. What is a girl to do?

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

The Real McCoy~ My Intro to Lisa Raye

In Take 2: Film/TV Reviews on 8 April 2011 at 12:02 am

        So, I have to admit…I didnt watch this last season. My life was so hectic that I didnt even know how to set the sleep timer on my TV. lol. So, when I was searching for something to blog about, this show was right at the top of my list. Yes, I too thought that Lisa Raye McCoy deserved a chance to be put under my microscope. I will TRY to be as respectful as I can be……but if she is the Real McCoy, then I am the Real Deep! Leh’ Go!

Take 2 in , 4, 3, 2, , 2, 2, 2 PlayersClub!

        Okay… I want to look like Lisa does ….right now! Wait… did she just get bussed in the lip!? hahahahahahahaha Sorry… that just racked me up! And just to call a spade a spade, honey your ass was on the cover because you took the picture of your ass.

        Damn, white is her color. I am loving this dress. Okay, just watching a woman 10+ my senior looking better than me is enough to make me go running. Fuck this blog I need to hit a treadmill!. And hell, even Jackie Reid is beautiful. *sigh* Black doesnt crack, but it can split and dry up. lol. I need to get on my Lisa Raye beauty regimen.

        Okay, I am not use to the setup of her show, but what is up with the interview version of the intro? Okay… I am going to Puerto Rico for my birthday. I know I said Australia, but Lisa Raye is making it look like I might want to go. Damn, her daughter Koi is gorgeous too! Damn, her hotel room looks like a fucking house!!! And, fuck me if I am wrong, but does she have mixed matched luggage? BEcause shouldnt all of luggage be Louis Vutton? I’m just saying.

        Okay, so I do understand being upset about being upset about a missing bag. But I have a problem with Lisa Raye saying that everything that makes her “her” was in that bag. I wish that I could have a way to tell her that she needs to stop saying that. There are teens that are watching he say that who feel that they cannot be “themselves” withought jewelry or other items. As beautiful as she is… honey you were Lisa Raye before you had that Louis Vutton luggage, etc. But I am glad that they are praying about it. My concern remains the same….I need her to think differently about that statement. It is JUST a bag, you can replace everything in that bag. It may not be the original, nor will it be the same, but you have to be able to let things go in order to make room for new things to enter into your life.

        I guess I dont understand the whole personal assistant aspect of this. I have two personal assistants, and when I call on them…they ASSIST, they dont do for me. So maybe I would need to be richer to get to a status where I dont have to sight over my own property. Again, I would have to figure out where she is coming from. Like I am trying to figure out her praying to Saint someone….. Girl, just take it to the LAWD!!! Though shalt not…ok this is a blog and not a church sermen, but you feel me.

        Okay, I understand being happy.. but crying and feeling that your family didnt have your back because she misplaced your LUGGAGE? I understand the pillow, I do.  But FUCK THE JEWELRY!!!! I am sitting here trying to wrap my head around this. I am trying to understand clinging to material things.  Okay, I will get off of it.  Second episode [The Real McCoy~ Take 2, Literally] is coming on!!!

Sincerely,

~*My Mother’s Daughter*~

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